Marriage Repair Why Are You So Controlling?

thanks this was for me

Man thank you so much. That really hit home.

This is exactly what happends the only difference is that iam the one who pulls away when insulted and criticise he is the one offended and angry mean and judgemental

Truthful

Thank you, that was very enlightening and true. Please explain how to break this pattern of control and withdraw.

Control is the ultimate hip word....i've been encountering it everywhere ....but really everywhere...over the phone ....online.....upbringing and education of th children ...."FRIENDS ".arguments...Maybe its a typical controllers word isn't it? Incorrigable...

maybe both are responsable is different ways for not knowing how or simply refusing to respond in a less confrontational way ....still is a problem the guys cluster and vent, rage or badmouth their partners outside the home Engage in fights with their love ones over matters that are not even theirs but their PALS leaving you wandering what has happened AGAIN and where all the anger (that had nothing whatsoever to do with us) was coming from. but refuse to adress these issues with their partners ,refuse therapy for BOTH. I've been going through that alot since the beginning than more and more...Till you give up and you both lose control..nobodies trying anymore...just scream at each other ..on side one refusing to constantly being the underdog and the other one trying to upstage that level of hostility...it really becomes a very destructive relationship
Worse if you live in a muy macho driven environment

I’m not controlling at all
He controls everything’ he’s married I would do anything to be a happy non controlling person he reinforces it

Screw you 😂 lol

Marriage repair I don't think so 😂 single is Sweet ❤

I don't want to be controlled stay out of business stay out of my space

I don't wanna

Pressure
Pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure

Im an abusive male I am controlling I was abused and controlled and beat as a kid. I have been emotionally on my own since a young age. In this relationship which i started with my best friend this is our cycle. There was a point and time we didnt have much and I was turni g to crime to make ends meet. I was shot and had to heal. We used everything we had and moved to another apartment. Neither of us had jobs at the time and someone needed a job or we were goi g to be evicted. I managed to get one at a pepboys with my stitches still in i was working. Even doing 60 hour weeks making ends meet paying for food and to put her through school. I felt I put the team on my back and I was u appreciated I put her dreams first while i put my dreams on hold or were crushed...( had a 99 civic i loved couldnt afford rent n food n such n get it from tow yard it was crushed..). I became controlling to the point where everything became about my dreams of a car a family a dog. I never skimped or lowered our way of loving I just made every decision and her opinions were ignored I even said it was a benevolent dictatorship. I was rock emotionaless to her and withdrawn and she was withdrawn from me. Not caring to me or my needs to be close or wanted or appreciated I felt walked on and I was the only thing that was keeping it together. Acting happy in front of family taking care of my grandmother. She did everything in those steps and made it worse but it was also me having a communication problem and not being open about how i truly felt. We devolved into the name calling arguements and eventually abuse. She did many of the things I did and said and even worse. But with me it was control. I wanted to steer the car like I was entitled to it because of my sacrifices and hard work. So what if i got off work and wanted to have a beer so what if I wanted steak I bought the shit. So what if i wantednto play video games i was going through alot and had alot of weight on me. But I couldnt force her to break my shell and fill the holes in my heart. I believed i checked all the boxes i needed to as a provider and should be held in regard for it. I wanted a throne. We were both wrong for the things we did n said. But i am responsible for the slippery slope of our relationship and abusive behavior i put on her.