What works better than punishments for kids with ADHD - ADHD Dude - Ryan Wexelblatt

So true. Their immune to the punishment. They need to learn and understand why they did something wrong. Punishment is useless if you don't teach them for every action is a reaction. The world will chew you up and spit you out if you continue on a certain path. You need to learn from your mistakes and be apologetic and remorseful for forgiveness.

As a WAY over-punished child, this is SO right on!

👋🙇‍♂️🥊🥊🤕

Thank you! We’ll keep this in mind for the future, very helpful!

Thank you 💕 Soo much.
Keep simple and short.
God bless you sir

I completely agree with the logic of tying actions in accountability to bad behaviors rather than unrelated punishments. It's training for the real world. I have loads of ways to exercise this in the home: break something = help fix it for example. But do you have any suggestions for when your young kid hurts friends, either as a 'justified' (to them) retaliation or from overzealous play? I feel like an apology is the first step, but maybe not enough. And sometimes even the apology is hard if my kid doesn't believe he's at fault.

I am adhd kid and I hate this video to s fuck

Hi, im easther here my son have adhd he is in 5 th grade now he have his own choices he wont accept to our choice of school to educate him , his standards are high to lifestyle he expects from us the same he have uounger brother he is normal and helpful sometimes he is hurt bcos brother responses handling physical in rude way, but here i came to check which kind of schooling in good for adhd child who is 6th grade in i dia we are living in now we planned to shift his school and lot of arguments regards to this with him.. bcos he is in his own choices he doeant think how much parents as sudder foe that life wheather they afford it or not he dont think anything he just needs his wishes to be met thats all so i need some guidance professionally if you have opinion about it. Thanks 😊

What are good consequences for a teenage boy with ADHD?

ADHD is a scam. My boy's mom had him on the poison. It was horrible he had nerves and could not sleep. When I took him first thing took him off the poison now, he is a normal kid.

How would you deal with a child that writes the wrong answer even though you already taught the way and have the answer??

What If they refuse to do nice things for the person they just punched. My son will hurt his younger siblings I don't no what to do. I need help

We used to live in a condominium with a swimming pool and playground, so I’d let my ADHD son loose in the pool or playground when he was getting into one of his moods. He’d be more reasonable after that and a shower. But we moved to a place without a pool and, due to covid, he wasnt going out as much for a few years. So we’ve been at laggerheads for quite a while until I recently discovered just telling him to stand at a corner with his arms up for as long as HE wants to stand…. His fury seems to wind down after a while, and I just need to do 15 min checks on whether he feels okay and ready to leave the corner. Afterwards, he’s often calm enough to finish whatever he was meant to be finishing. My husband asks me why I have him put his arms up, and I mentioned that otherwise, he just seems to find other ways to distract himself. What I find most interesting is that he finishes his school work and studying within 5-20 minutes because he’s got a high IQ, but his inertia and moods can make the pre-studying stage last hours. Once a teacher even called me letting me know my son had missed an entire exam, which we were very certain he would’ve aced otherwise. I hope and pray there’s a light at the end of this tunnel for my boy… What mother wouldn’t worry about her child’s possible inability to hold down a job, a loving relationship, or even to simply pursue a passion or a hobby?

Yes!! Being accountable!!

This is not helpful to me because you are asking to ask the ADHD kid to "do" something but what about kids who plainly say no to any of the consequences as things to do???

punishments do not work, accountability does not work, mindfulness does not help, my son refuses to try meditation, and he simply does not seem to care when he is hurtful which is daily. Medications do nothing, therapy does nothing, me as his father practicing affective calmness (amongst other things) has done nothing. In spite of all we have done and continue to do to try to help him succeed he seems to want to live this life. Unfortunately, I am afraid the only solution for him at 12 -13 years of age is psychiatric hospitalization and likely living in a group home. I am concerned that since he is unwilling to put in any effort or attempt any strategies, there is nothing more that can be done. At this point he is becoming a danger to himself and others. It makes me physically ill to think about this as his only prospect.

Medication has come a long way. It's been a blessing. Started half dose then slowly increased. Never even needed full dose.

I need the whole video of this LORD!

I believe discipline and accountability are more appropriate and effective than punishment.

Thankyou! You make sense.

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was a kid. I was born in the 90s, when I didn’t listen my parents had to get creative. Especially because getting my butt whooped just didn’t work. What they did as punishment was have me write “I will behave my self and listen” in a book. Depending on what I did, I would to write it out 250-1000x. Let me just say it was a kid with ADHD’s worst nightmare. Anything where I have to sit still or do something monotonous drives me up a wall. I started behaving myself real quick.

Thumbs up for keeping it short and still clear. 👍

My son isn’t quite diagnosed but he has been kicked out of multiple daycares cause yelling nor punishment works. I grew frustrated at times I don’t even want to exist but it just gets worse popping and yelling doesn’t work headaches just make my blood pressure go up. At this moment I don’t even know how to feel within because all the small kisses on the feet and hands as a baby seem to turn into pops and punishment at 3 going on 4 I’m trying. I hope this works cause all therapy is down for 16 months out . For anyone with tips from your experience as a child with ADHD or have children with it I am more than willing to listen what could be better steps to help him.

Do you have any other examples of how to clean it up? When my girlfriends 3 year old is hitting due to frustration what should we do in that moment? Thanks!

I'm not sure how to judge if there is real life consequences.

Being an ADHD ODD kid, learning takes longer & more attempts. There was nothing worse than trying to navigate a challange agian & failing - only to be shamed & arbitrarily disciplined too. It furthered my ODD because it erroded my trust in authority/teaching figures plus it just created more anxiety & depression. It was my first experience with the 'ADHD Tax'.

I did need consequence, but they needed to be applicable to my learning needs, more introspective & celebrate what I did right. Many lessons were muddied because I was told it was wrong, not just part of it was, then I gave up. After all, if I fail either way, at least failing when I didnt try wouldn't hurt as much.

Being carful not to fall into false dichotomy of only right or wrong with a balance of fare punishment was how I learned best. Finally found adults, teachers, leaders & management that did this with me has allowed me to thrive.

Granted succeeding in life to spite people was a real motivator. ODD reverse uno card 😂

If you take out the words "with adhd" you get an honest break down of how to raise a normal child.

Im trying to find new ways to help my younger brother as he is getting into trouble a lot at school and at home there are a lot of arguments with our dad. My dad tries his absolute best to make sure my brother learns from his bad behaviour but nothing ever really changes and he continues doing bad things when he has been told not to. I think my dad could try the cleaning up technique and make sure my brother does something positive to counter the negative thing that has happened e.g. yelling at a teacher, maybe sending them an email or making a card for them to show he is sorry. But t’s difficult to get him to want to take accountability as he is 13 and for some reason he just keeps doing the same things over and over. We don’t know if it is his ADHD or just his hormones as he is just turned a teenager but it is getting very difficult for my dad to parent him as he is very rebellious and continues doing the same wrong things all the time. Keeps arguing with him. Always needs to be right and have the last word. Never takes no for an answer and even when there’s a reason, he will keep on pushing and says he doesn’t understand. I think it might be better if me and my dad (as i care for my brother too) look for different methods accountability and teaching, because the ones we have at the moment are clearly not working, and instead of blaming my brother, maybe we should try a different technique. Any advice would be great, thank you.

I have a 3 year old who doesn't listen to anything. He can hear just fine but it goes in one ear out right out of the other. I am stuck in limbo on how to discipline him because he's still learning how to process his feelings and navigate the world so i don't know how to yet.

Wish my parents could have seen this 40 years ago.

Hey I was going to go off today and I did not on a guy. Change is real. For ADHD kids, probably hard to do though. Agree, no ramifications equals future crazy kid who lashes out on elders and ect with no regard for respect. Not good. I was not raised right and even I learned the right way, though mostly from the internet, but watching people. Discernment is important.

Seriously refreshing to hear you say you believe in consequences. Gonna start using this advice.

Hi adhd dude I am a 13 year old going through a tough time like doing stuff i'm not supposed to do, not doing as i am told, etc this video really helps, so thanks!

Honestly as a mom who had a child in her early teen years, my kid is now 10. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and it does seem far a punishment she doesn’t care. My mom and sister help raise her and we all talk to her and everything. Take things away from her and she still doesn’t seem to care. I need to look into things that’ll get her more active because it seems like she’s so focused on being disobedient. I’m currently in tears rn because I just don’t know what to do. It seems she wants to follow the wrong path every time. Will definitely try taking this approach.

Hi love your videos my daughter add ADHD thank you for your teaching bliss Amen

The number of times I went without tv or video games as a punishment went right up until I left home

I'm someone with ADHD and whenever my parents tried to punish me my behaviour just got worse

getting desensitized to punishment is so true,
my Sunday school class was full of ADHD boys, and they were constantly acting up, so parents were always called, however, nothing ever changed, because after a while, they didn't react to the threat of corporal punishment

What are some things that don’t have consequences in real life that should be ignored? My gut tells me you are right, but my head is struggling with what those things are.

In 2015 when Silento was big his song would play all the time. My dad lodestar son at 5 years old loved to dance to it. About three years later he started to behave abnormally; it was concerning. My wife and brother-in-law decided the whip and nay nay him to said Silento track. My son has since then became an academic student and is playing baseball for his schools team. Soon he will be enlisted in the military and I could not be prouder of him; great video.

Now I know why punishment never worked for me🤦‍♀ being diagnosed late with Autism and ADHD.

And how exactly do you get the child to actually do those things to clean up to take accountability??

I was ADHD as a kid, but I got the cane at school and that sorted me out OK. In fact all the ADHD kids at my school got the cane back in the 1950's, and we all went on to become upright citizens. Of course that was before the stupid internet arrived to make us all crazy.

I wish my teachers and principal and dad had seen this back around 1980. The world was a very dark place, because it seemed that there was nothing in life but punishments. And so I lived in constant dread of what was going to happen next. I didn’t feel safe at home, and I didn’t feel safe at school. I’m not sure why it never occurred to them that punishments don’t seem to work with this kid. Finally, in the middle of winter, at the age of 12, I hitchhiked 200 miles away to try to escape.

mine just started getting violent. He's 6. Screaming at the top of his lungs, throwing things, and hitting. I'm going to make sure I work out with him and play something that involves a little work out.

Does the ADHD or ADD or ODD include stealing and lying? Isn’t there also a PTD?

An ADHD dad of an ADHD son here. I'm frightened that the ONLY thing that DOES WORK is punishment... as long as it's immediate and not too severe (not raising too much emotions). Building good habits and good relationships works great, but impossibly slow. A simple "Start on the task or finish playing before I count to 3 or no computer games today.. 1... 2..." works every time. :(

I really wish this was available to my mom back then. She has very little patience and didn’t give new things a try too long always resorting to physical punishment, so I was put on Ritalin, which made me depressed and overweight, but I learned that she too is ADHD, but won’t admit it, nor was she treated. But, she has no problem self diagnosing other people.

My 6 year old niece with ADHD also appears to be devoid of empathy. For example pets are merely objects, like her toys, for her amusement We have to watch her around the poor dog and cats for their well being.

Love the advice from others who are steps ahead of me.