KJ and Tony Move to France | Why we Returned to the US and Health Update

I just stumbled across your channel, and I already am in love with you guys. Your joy and sincerity come right through the screen, and your vulnerability is very moving. I want you to know that I can really relate to your story, even though my path has been different. My fiancé is French, and I spend part of every year in France with him, and I'm happy now, but it was a long road to get here. For several years we were bouncing around and landed in Lille for a year and a half. I was really depressed there. The weather was gray and humid almost all the time, and the architecture, while beautiful, is very dark and didn't help my mood. I also suffer from an autoimmune disease which can make my daily life challenging in several ways. Lastly, I was working online and didn't have friends or a community there. I was so unhappy. We finally bought an apartment in the southwest of France (Niort) and moved there last summer, and I've been so much happier. I need the sun and the dry weather (and the lighter brighter architecture), and also I've been able to start making friends and building a community. It makes all the difference. So, I want you to know that you are not alone, and that it's really really hard, and that even someone in my position who already speaks French and has lived in France and has ties through my fiancé can still be homesick and depressed, so you should not feel bad. Big hugs, and looking forward to seeing the rest of your journey!

People sharing their emotional learning experiences are so important so thank you - we mostly learn from our 'mistakes' which aren't mistakes at all but are learning opportunities. I appreciate you taking it in the right vein because that's how humans grow and become better, and through that others can learn that they too can take risks - and not only that, the rewards of being humans are revealed during these times, we come out happier and more satisfied. What a beautiful violinist at the end!

I emigrated to NYC for 20 years and never really got over the homesickness. The home I missed was no longer there, and I felt on my own in a foreign culture. Very few people are available to discuss feelings in any depth, I went to therapy for several years and that was extremely helpful. I am a stronger person as a result.

Love your videos , the one where you model clothing was so so special🥰 Mary from Florida

Why you decided to move to France at all??

I’m sorry you had that experience. I’ve been married to a French guy for almost 40 years. We live in the DC suburbs. I speak pretty decent French as we go there most years & I’ve spent a ton of time to learn it. I saw one of your videos when you both expressed that your French was very poor.
My two cents: You can’t possibly be happy in a foreign culture/country until you learn the language & culture. You can’t exist there as Americans who stumble over a menu. You won’t be happy. If you can’t converse with people, it simply won’t work. Aggressively learn French-before going back. I know of what I advise. You will never be happy there unless you can talk to people.

To follow up on what I already posted: As someone who speaks decent French & through my very long marriage to a French guy, it can be tiring to be there for weeks at a time & have to listen to French 24/7, even for someone like me.
I hear you saying you are going to move back, but what are you doing to help yourselves integrate there? You simply have to know conversational French to live there. Plus, it’s a hugely different culture. You have to understand cultural norms over there. You have to know how & when to show up at a dinner party, what is acceptable to talk about, even table manners. It’s a vastly different culture than ours. I don’t mean to discourage you, but please integrate yourselves.

I have to admit that you don't sound at all like residents of France, just affluent tourists. I moved to Paris 50 years ago, so of course I have a different perspective. I haven't seen any of your other videos, but I get no feel that you lived in France at all. Talking about "footage" of your time in Paris rather than just life in Paris.

I have never met the infamous A.L. myself, but I do know that she is the absolute opposite of all of my values and I was close friends with people who knew her and told me all of the dirty details, so that is another sticking point. She was forced to flee Paris because of her illegal real estate scams and resettle in Nice to be "safely" away from all of that. Ugh!

You are both so authentic. Thank you for sharing!

You no doubt know about 'honeymoon periods' when we undergo change. And there is seldom anything more stressful than going to live in a country with a different language, differing customs and finding yourself outsiders. There is 'loving France' and 'living in France'. Two very different animals. What you describe is, I think, very much like the changes which Megan Markle had to accept in becoming a member of a Royal Family with hundreds of years of tradition and expectation. In her case she couldn't take it. Neither could you, but there's nothing wrong in accepting that. I've done the immigrant route and i beat the homesickness. But it takes much, much longer than you anticipate and you never ever fully assimilate. You always retain a fondness for the country you originally called 'home'. So don't beat yourselves up.

You guys are a wonderfully communicative couple...on this video and with each other. I too am considering moving to France. I visited Paris for a week a couple years ago and absolutely loved it!!! Now I am going for two months; one month in between to UK. I haven't done the paperwork yet to go for extended period until I decide for sure. I have a regular passport that will allow me to be there for 90 days. My biggest challenge is seeing how I can work there bc I still need to earn an income. My second challenge is health. I also suffer from depression and have a thyroid condition; both require medication regularly so I also need insurance or affordable provider to see me an write prescriptions. I appreciate your honesty, which is allowing me to be honest. I am very drawn to France and really hope to live there with the ability to financially, physically, mentally and socially care for me 🙏🏼

Good luck to you 🌷 and great job with self care. Curious though...why did you get a one year lease rather than something shorter? And do you guys no longer need to work?

I have found your channel very inspiring for so many reasons. There is one certainty in life and that is change! How it comes about is yet another experience on our path to fulfillment, so failure it is not, disappointment, yes. However, with time spent in recovery mode will make it so much lighter going forward in the future. I think that your transparency and vulnerability will bind your followers so much closer to you both.
Please be patient with yourselves and know that we all fully understand. Enjoy your time with family and we'll hear and see you when the time is right. Lots of warm wishes. Denmark 🇩🇰 😂

Learning what is best for you is not failure, it's insight.

I lived in France about 40 years ago. First semester, I lived in the Southern part of Normandy commuting to a Paris and then moved to Paris full time. I became depressed and home sick after 5 months in France. I went to a special program at the Sorbonne. I get it. I was so homesick and depressed. I had a Greek boyfriend who helped me through some of it. I like your channel I just found it. I have dreams of moving back to France. A part of my heart is in France too. ❤

Just found you guys this morning and because my son is moving to Paris in August I’m now hooked…..and also wondering where you are now!

Ava Maria…my goodness that young man is gifted!

I am American living in France since 2006. Please consider your parents' ages if you decide to live in France. These are the last years of their lives. If you live in France, be prepared to pay taxes on all your investments at higher rates than the US charges, and manage the currency risk you will be facing all the time.

You dont know real depression til you live in uk for any length of time

My daughter and I stayed for a month in the 16th. and was the best time of my life so I love hearing all about your experiences and love of Paris too. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your bout of depression which thankfully has become much less of the stigma it was in the past. I truly believe this is due to famous people, celebrities, and people like yourself sharing your experiences making it commonplace as it should always have been. I too have had depression and believe ive helped others by sharing and then they open up about their own experience. Please take good care of yourselves and continue at the pace thats right for you. Look forward to more in your own time. ❤️🗽🗼

wow very impressed by your courage first to move to a foreign country and even more by your openness about your feelings of homesickness etc. I moved to mexico 10 years ago I am 74 . I have known many expats that have moved to Mexico and eventually realized that the difference in culture was more than they expected and returned to the US. It is not a failure to realize that at times we make mistakes , you will be fine you both are loving partners and will sacrifice for the other if need be. Enjoy your adventure and don't let others expectations define your path . Best of luck but be careful weight gain for expats in Paris is famous.

Boca Raton, that explains it.

Thank you for sharing your story and your genuine transparency ❤wishing you well.

Tony's comment about walking along the Seine struck a chord for me. I spent the month of May 2022 in Paris. The apartment I had was across the Seine from the Louvre, so just out the door. This was something I had promised myself for years and the month more than met my expectations.

I really appreciate your honesty, and make a big move is always difficult. Keep going!

I Just found your channel and this video is a GREAT lesson! I’m currently preparing to live in Spain early 2025 and I’ve planned extensively about this move. However, I have not anticipated the emotional toll that may arise from living in a new environment. THANK YOU KJ for having the courage to say out loud what so many keep silent. I’m still excited about my endeavor AND will keep your lovely voice in my heart should I begin to feel less than blissful 🇪🇸 💃🏻 🇫🇷

Tony looks so much like my brother, it blows my mind! Stigma? Not anymore. Most of humanity has experienced depression and or anxiety at some point. 41 years ago, I remarried, moved 2 hours away, and had a new baby all within 13 months. Depression hit me.... and panic attacks. I constantly hyperventilated and shook like a goof. I had a 4 y/o and a precious newborn, but I wanted to take my babies and go "HOME". Back then, no one knew how to help. My OB put me on massive amounts of Valium. I took 1 pill, and flushed the rest down the toilet. After 3 years of that plus another baby, I finally packed up the kids and moved "Home". Eventually, my husband moved back too. I'm also a very driven person, and that bout just about cooked me. Fortunately, now so much more is understood about depression, being stressed out. You seem to have a very understanding and caring husband, who seems to genuinely care FOR YOU. I don't know you, but your honest admission about what you went through could very well help and be an encouragement to others! I feel proud of you! As for Paris, the closest I've come to it is that I had a boyfriend whose mother was from France. LOL! I wish you both the very best!!

Why did you leave Paris for Versailles?

You two are extremely brave to move to France. I've visited the country, and Paris, too. But I would never move there. The homesickness would destroy me. It might be helpful to watch Diane's videos that she makes called Oui in France. She's a Floridian who moved to France about a decade ago. She's very insightful.

What would I like to see? Foremost, get your health in order, both emotionally and physically. No move would be successful if you are in pain. If you are in Florida for a year, have your knee replacement from a doctor who speaks English. When you return to Paris, try for an apartment on a first or second floor, even if you have to move to outer arrondissements and take the Metro into central.

A step by step paper work process. A kind of how to guide would help so much. I’m 50 now and just starting to seriously thinking and looking to move to France too. Well done you two.

Truthfully, many Americans who have or are in the process of moving abroad will be moving back to the United States. Europe and Latin America are wonderful places to visit, so is the Middle East and North Africa. But the quality of life we have here in the US is not easy to replicate abroad. I grew up in France and love visiting, but moving back is an entirely different story. TRAVEL 3 or 4 times a year.

There are many good things in the Us but the life style is not one of them. Things are always more important than simple pleasures

Thank you for your honesty. Our body tells us when we need to stop what were doing and take care of ourselves.. Totally can relate

1) What led to the choice of Versailles? 2) Pressure to please followers? Vlogging is a business. It sounds like money is a consideration. Just go, knee and all! Sounds like you haven't been around the block a few million times. But you guys are great, a little whiny, but you guys are great! Go! 10 years from now, 11.4M subs, this will be your life. And good luck to Pierre! He'll be your best fan and generational advice.

Greetings from WV. I've just discovered you and find your videos to be inspiring. The violinist's beautiful "Ave Maria" brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!❤

Culture shock is difficult

Really appreciate you making this video. All expats videos are about how great their new country is. I grew up in SoCal and I lived in UK for a year and half and after my first winter I knew it’s not the place for me. It’s not the temperature or the rain that killed it for me. I just couldn’t deal with the sun setting before 4pm in the winter. I’d imagine France is similar in the winter. But at least France has good food.

I wish you to recover quickly. Foreigners aren't informed about the level of taxes and various charges they will have to face here . I remember having bought in France shirts beautifully manufactured in the US. I guess the american citizens little by little miss the advantages they had in their country, their traditions, their kind of human relations. And then one day they miss their whole homeland.

You are both terrific. V honest. And, I get it, completely. Not a failure. It’s a process. Like chapters in a book. Anyone who moves to another country experiences a lot of these feelings! We moved to Prague a long time ago. Came back to NYC. Have spent 20 years on and off in Paris. And, Had one hip done, v humbling but it’s getting great. Totally respect you guys. You are in good company.

I did a lot of traveling in my 20s and even recently as a single mom in my 40s. I lived in France while studying French at University of Poitiers for a year and Japan for 4 years in my 20s but would find living there now would be difficult or impossible because my elderly father needs me. I would worry about him incessantly even though I have siblings who can help. So, I just do a little trip here and there for now. It feels good to be here in Seattle for my dad even though I have the urge to move and stay abroad. ❤ I can relate to your homesickness. It actually hit me 3 months after I had been living there. I think it was the stress of being 24/7 in a culture that wasn’t mine even though I spoke the language at an intermediate level. It had to do with mindset even though I fit in pretty well. I still deeply missed certain aspects and people from the US and very much felt like an alien at times. I’d say I actually felt happier in Japan more than France. But definitely enjoyed both. Bon Chance!!

I lived in Australia for 4 years. Wonderful country, but different from home. Little things that you wouldn't even think to check turn out to matter a lot. It can be tiring to navigate them day after day. So your video makes total sense to me. Good on you for making it. This is an important side of the expat experience that needs more attention.

I came across your channel and it was nice. I like your experiences. Going abroad scares me to death. If you guys would post what you have to do and go through to go abroad would be helpful. Or what is the best way to away safe ans be safe when being abroad.
Plus your recovery in the US would be great to know about.

I. Thinck. You. Stay. Whear you. Are. Just. Go. For. Holodays. To. France.

No, you are not a failure. Just enjoy Paris at your leisure. I grew up in Europe and now live in North America. I do not miss Europe now as I realize it is no longer the same. I cherish my memories and do not ever want to go back and erase them.

Why did you choose Versailles? Im interested, why you didnt stay in Paris?

Haven't watched your channel...but I have 2 friends who are planning to move to france in one year. They don't speak the language and don't intend on learning it, and I don't think they know what they are in for. Can't you guys move to Paris, or
is it too expensive. And do you think not knowing the language is going to be a problem? I'd think to fully immerse themselves in the culture, basic french would be necessary. And there is No failure in moving somewhere and having it not work out. I moved from SF to LA, where I was born, and it was a horrible mistake. I just felt lonely, too lonely to get out to meet people, it was a disaster, I came running back to the bay area. I think what you guys did was brave.

I've been to Paris and love it, I want to go back but I have no one to travel with. A close friend (a male), insists I should go alone. I think that may be a lonely experience. Could I maneuver around Paris alone, also not know French?