Dr. Steven Hassan talks with Dr. Christine Cocchiola: Understanding Coercive Control in Families

Not sure how I feel about validating victim identity beyond a temporary need to identify the source of the problem. I've seen too many sewing circles gone wrong and become the perpetrators becoming that which they are supposedly advocating against to begin with. "Crocodile tears" as they say enabling a weaponization of victim status, something which is important for protection. Don't get me wrong, abuse is a bad thing, but a lot can get lost in a "he said, she said."

Of course, totalists like to do this too, to obfuscate any point or reasonable and rational conclusions... To win, to be right, to maintain credibility, when often times they are conmen or hucksters (basically they already know that they are wrong, or doing wrong, to begin with). That's why we see the Chinese Communist Party preemptively accusing others of that which they themselves are doing. And of course, it's a slight of hand distraction from what they are really doing. Which is why it's always NEVER about what they are talking about.... instead it's always about power, winning, or having an edge (a different objective than what we USUALLY consider to be the point of communicating or discourse, understanding.)

James Lindsay, believes that this is a "woke" thing, and obviously not a Republican thing. But it seems to me that it's more generally a social and cultural thing adopted by those who want to acquire some form of power done by those who know WHY they're doing it and by those that merely know WHAT they are doing (they don't necessarily know where it comes from historically).

Interesting interview. I liked it better than the one with Katie Amber.

Excellent program! Connecting the dots on so many points of the picture. However, the huge factor that must be acknowledged is the patriarchal dominating culture we exist in! Look at it through this lense and it will be crystal clear. It's a control thing. The sins of Eve, the 'fragile' male ego, the fear of God's pistol at the back of your skull. It's all connected - a world view driven in to young brains long before they have the power of critical thinking. The Mother is the life source - babies know this with every fibre of their being. If the Father entity, who has been introduced as a beloved ally, becomes aggressive and threatening to the Mother, therein lies the source of lifelong neuroses! Such tragic, unnecessary sorrow! Then comes the Sisters of Mercy tending to the victims of the Inquisition. Get up off your knees a nd walk out of the church.

So if you have a couple and each accuses the other of being abusive how can you determine which one is the abuser?

Very interesting!

Dorcey Pruter /Dr. Craig Childress are some names to look up for anyone looking for assistance with this dynamic. Hope that's helpful.

Steven. She isn't looking for a marketing advisor. Leave it alone. You could have done that behind the scenes.

Thank you for bringing this coercive abuse to light 🖤🖤⚖️💃🏻 ✌🏼😊 the cult of $cn should be brought down ASAP ⚖️

Angelina Jolie did this to Brad Pitt.

Second point: During 2016 democratic debates, Pete Buttigieg stated he believed there should be a Dept in Whitehouse for Psychology or something like that. He memtioned his brother is a psychologist. He may be someone to interview down the line?

Right at the time of the Pelicot trial. It's unbelievable that he attended medical appointments for his wife, as if she was a minor, and none of the doctors thought anything was amiss.
Gaslighter therapists: so true.

I love your subject and insight but: you interrupt constantly and the go on for ages. it is frustrating and distracting and makes these videos unshareable. Please stop, or try to practice some restraint or brevity

Good show, important info for so many.

An unseen abuse indeed! I so appreciate when this is brought to light.

This has been so helpful and informative.

I left a cult too!

The subtitle for the podcast is a brilliant idea. Perfect Prey can be a bit negative and unempowering on it's own.

I believe because of the 2 contradictive messages we did not see it as abuse and definitely as I might deserve it. They cohesively convinced you that they are perfectionist and they want the best for you- that is why they abuse you. It is like you are violated their value of perfect. And is like they are stuck with you. On the other hand- they aways claim that they are giving us the best so it is only up to us to become Perfect and Pure. It is very confusing.

Therapists are the worst! I have been to 5-6 therapists. I often wonder what they are really studying? Non of them helped me to see that what was happening TO ME was abuse. And that it was happening ONLY TO ME! Not to both of us! Actually I think they were afraid to point that something was happening exactly to me but kind of happening to both of us. It is like the Ofender and the Victim suffer the same way. It is like the Victim violated the Offender value and the Offender was forced to DO it out of necessity. It look like they are a poor victim. Also, they encouraged me to thing about their difficult childhood and to understand from where it is coming. WHAT? I believe therapists are to be suit!
Classic cohersive control- look what you made me do and made me look bad and made me explode and I believed it! The Abuser use Darvo and then your supporting system use cohersive persuasion! 100 you have no way to turn!

I really believed I was sabotaging the abusers somehow contributing to their behavior, mood exc. And because they are perfect it looked very probable to me. I believed if I become more perfect than them they will stop! Not at all!

He seems to be having difficulty understanding abuse that has not happened to him. He really doesn't seem to understand or believe what she is explaining. He is trying to correct her by naming her podcast and questioning her terminology. He also keeps going back to his own subject and book rather than staying on the subject that she is there to talk about.

❤

That IS the goal Dr Cocchiola! You are 100% right. When people ask "why would anyone abuse their own children?". The answer is they want to create MINI ME's! My abuser voiced this many times. They feel it is their RIGHT to recreate themselves (and their parents and grandparents) in their children. They want control over their children and grandchildren for LIFE. They want their children to act like them, think like them, believe like them for LIFE. That is the goal: recreation of SELF, living vicariously again through children and grandchildren. It's oddly like the old vampire myths! They do NOT want their children or grandchildren to have AUTONOMY, separation, individuation, identity, freedom of thought, beliefs, actions, or ANY normal, healthy boundaries or privacy. They will demand a total lack of privacy or boundaries as the children grow older. Very dangerous.

I love that you don't have commercials, very appreciated.

In the US it's up to 37% of women now. And that only considers physical or sexual assault.