Why ADHD Makes You Feel Broken

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Dr K displays what it mean to 'think smart' ... I'm stoked

You didn't even mention that a good number of clinical drug tests are conducted on men only. Women in clinical trials are considered a pesky patient of men who have too many hormonal variables to get good data. It's fucked.

It's so painful hearing about that "diagnosed with an effort problem" part because as a child I was sat down by a teacher and asked why I was so bad at school. I remember telling them "I just couldn't concentrate" and they said "How long is that excuse going to hold up?". It's fucking chilling remembering that and knowing what I know now. I'm so sorry for childhood me.

It actually has become completely bromen, because of my addiction problem. We need a rehab for people with untreated adhd

Worst part is: ive been diagnosed since late kindergarten. I'm a senior in hs and its begun to act up a lot. I cant do anything; if im told to do hw i end up doing it from the time i get home until bed.

Im failing more than one class, and both of my parents call it an excuse, saying its my fault. My mom, who has adhd, has less severe symptoms and was forced to study throughout all of school. So she just says I'm not trying hard enough.

Whats worse is they compare me to "everyone else". Like, ill say that i didnt do an essay for english, and they'll say "Well, everyone else did it, right?" This isnt just depressing, but also demotivating because im smarter than the VAST majority of kids at my school.

My whole life I have truly felt that I was "Built different" and by different, I mean wrong.

God damn it

I gotta say, it's horribly difficult to pay attention to the video with so many things in the screen all at once. That comments section was driving me insane, I had to minimize the video and listen to it as a podcast to be able to hear anything.

Great content.

The foul language is unnecessary and reduces your viewers for lack of professionalism.

Tomorrow, at 27 years old, I have my first clinical evaluation. Since I was a kid, I’ve always been aware of how my mind works—constant trains of thoughts and ideas, crossing over and under each other, right up until the moment I fall asleep. I never did well in school, often waiting until the last minute to start and complete projects, forgetting things, rereading, and re-forgetting. I’ve always taken responsibility for everything that happens to me, leaning into concepts and patterns I love (especially if there’s a scientific or artistic connection).

It wasn’t until my long-term girlfriend from high school pointed out that I might have ADHD that I even considered it. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. But over the years, I’ve noticed similarities between myself and those closest to me who have ADHD. It’s made me wonder if I have been putting forth way more effort just to keep up all along. Tomorrow’s evaluation feels like the start of understanding myself on a new level. I had no clue how much of a community there is—stoked

Now im not even sure if i have Depression or maybe even adhd or both, havent been diagnozed till this day but i can relate to many of These symptoms..maybe i have it all my life already since i was a kid. My mom always tell me that i was somehow different than other Kids in the family but and i could see that and feel that but i never know why and it Makes me thinks a lot that there is something wrong with me. But even now as an adult things don’t get easier it’s the opposite actually bc as an grown up you have more responsibility and accountibility you have to take on.
Living with my mom just make things a lot worse and more difficult as i get older somehow..
She always Makes sure to point out things i don’t do and not doing Well and saying stuff like: „When i look at your messy room and how You Living your life Compare to others in general, you will Self-develop mental health issue. You are just so Lazy, what are you even doing all day long with so much time on the hand? Others even manage to work their 9-5 jobs and still manage to grocery laundry household and Even Kids etc. If you don’t change these behaviour and how you live you will never find someone who will love you these way and Even if sooner or later they will see your trueself and you will be Left alone!“ Growing up as someone who always had low self-esteem and abondment issue, these sure Hit home and the worst thing is that i actually believe that she is Right! 💔

I remember being one of the smartest kids in my science class. I would help the top students in my class to grasp some physics concepts. They would go on to get A's, and I would come out wit a C or D for the same class.

Very helpful, thank you.

ADHD (diagnosed this year at 35), abusive parents who made me think whatever i did was wrong/garbage/not enough, living all childhood constantly on edge because a wrinkle on the bed sheets, a drop of water (or tears or blood) on the floor, a speck of dust on some furniture in my bedroom or anything done incorrectly by my mother's standards would trigger, at best, a flow of insults. With the diagnosis i understand it was not my fault, nor just my parents', but the feeling that something is wrong with me is stronger than ever. I see 20 yo kids living their life while I've felt like a broken misplaced toy in a doll house my entire life, falling behind everyone, hoping that one day I'll start actually living. The funny thing is my parents work in the medical field (doctor and nurse) and at no point they cared enough to put 2 and 2 together.

"But this other person who says they had ADHD is doing fine, so I'll just continue to treat you like a defective regular person". There's also the fact that an ADHD brain just doesn't work like a regular brain. We're not "being difficult", we're really trying our best.

It's 1 am and I'm in the parking lot after work disconnecting from my sobs. Why did it feel so hard to just love me? I literally asked to be loved at 5. I called it "the homesick feeling"

Bruh that was neglect

So a healthy society will let children run and playinstead of forcing them to sit still for hours, and absolutely not torturing them with exams or similar judgements, instead seeing each child as unique and let them express themselves and give them space to do what they like (50 years free school results show they all want to learn reading and maths at some stage)

I was talking to my partner how I didnt like that she would tell me my issues where related to my ADHD. Turns out thats more proof that I have ADHD.........

The being taught that what’s right is wrong seems so simple & obvious but somehow profound at the same time. Honestly it reminds me a lot about the woke & trans movement when we are told we’re wrong when we call a man a man…. “No that’s not a man that’s a woman”/“no 2+2=5”

wlep, my parents are supportive and I was diagnosed at a young age but I didn't want to accept that adhd could control my ability to study more than my intentions and will to study, to try harder. I won't get my bachelors degree

I still don't get why i'm failling so hard, while other people with adhd have phd's and doctorates

I'm in my early 30s and was recently diagnosed with both ADHD and autism over the last few years. After talking to my therapist about what these things actually o to your brain, and listening to Dr. K;s videos explaining how they work, my life makes so much more sense now. Thanks for everything you do Dr. K, you have seriously helped me more than 90% of people in my life. "Just try harder." "Get more organized" All that just leads to feeling like shit when you fail, thank you for giving actual good advice and explanations.

I just wanted to say this perfectly describes my entire childhood. I remember saying a joke to a girl. She sneered at me. Then another guy, a popular one who was listening, said the same joke to the same girl, and she laughed. It “proved” to me that it didn’t matter what I said, who I said it to, or what the situation was. I was the problem, and there was nothing I could do to fix it.

I literally physically look at my diagnosis from time to time just so my brain is reset to: "we do have ADHD, we are not just pretending very well"

love your content! just piece of advice and not to be a harsh critiscm as half is likely not your fault, but the number and length of ads for this video was way too much when they occured as well as too frequent. thanks again for all you do

Yes

I could masking without knowing

I’m recognizing myself in a lot of the symptoms, but I’m still a bit skeptical simply because in essence, none of the symptoms as I understand them are things that are not very common in everyone to some degree. They might have a milder symptom of whatever it is, but everybody has difficulty doing boring things. Everyone loses stuff. Everyone has trouble with overspending or not keeping a tidy house. It’s always a question of degree for me. Like am I actually adhd, or am I taking really mild forms of common experiences and mentally exaggerating them so I can explain to myself why I am how I am. If I can’t keep a tidy house because I simply don’t want to expend tge energy, that’s not a disease. If I’m overspending because I actually just want stuff I cannot afford, that’s not a disease. And I have grave concerns about trying to medicalize away me simply not doing what I’m supposed to be doing because of my choosing whether consciously or unconsciously t9 do those things.

And this is where I think the conversation gets a bit unfruitful simply because so many perfectionists see themselves in these symptoms simply because they’re expecting something that nobody can really do, and a reality of themselves as basically a robot who beep-boops and gets perfect grades and never makes a mistake and never just not want to be toxicly productive at all times. It’s like I don’t think it’s logical to see people who are doing better than 90% of the US population and say “the guy who can’t finish his phd thesis (which requires absurd levels of education at very high standards for decades) has ADHD.

What I learned in elementary school is that I am a lazy fuckup who doesn't apply himself, who makes careless mistakes and doesn't live up to his potential. Literally the only thing I remember from 1st grade is my teacher screaming at me and humiliating me in front of everyone for daydreaming.

My husband has ADHD, depression and was on medication for many years. When we moved and he had to get a new Doctor. Unfortunately because my husband was nearly 68, the Doctor said ADHD medication was not recommended for someone his age and he wouldn't renew his prescription. The Dr didn't even offer to wean him off the meds! He left him with no meds and had him go. God so kind a friend recommended us to mushrooms (psilocybin) precisely. After his experience with shrooms five years ago till now there's no more ADHD, depression and mental disorder. Shrooms are life changing. There is no way you can put into words what it feels like..

I don really give a flip WHY it makes me feel broken. Just wanna know how to fix it pls

I echo those who mention ADHD meds alieviating their depression. For literally decades, I was depressed. I was diagnosed with BPD and I did a good 15 years of therapy. And don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for all the tools I learned and the trauma I processed. But I cycled through so many SSRIs and SNRIs that my psychiatrist told me it was time to consider mood stabilizers if I needed medication for depression. But I had started ADHD medication pretty recently, so as I came off my last basically ineffectual antidepressant, we decided to see how I did without being on an antidepressant for a while.

It wasn't until I was prescribed Vyvanse at basically age 33 that I finally experienced six solid months of no major depression. Some sad days, yeah, but nothing like I used to experience. Then I realized that every episode of depression I had before was related to perceived or real abandonment or rejection.

Was it BPD all those years or rejection sensitive dysphoria? It's not really necessary for me to know the answer but I've got to say, it's surely coincidental that now that my ADHD is properly medicated, I'm feeling so much more even and content.

And then ... a young teen male starts self-medicating with weed at age 13 or 14, LONG before the brain is developed, which forever affects his frontal lobe - executive functions. Thereafter he will never admit that either ADHD or early pot smoking is a reason he is dysfunctional, depressed, & suicidal in his mid-30's.
All this knowledge & I can't help my son.
@DrK - How to get the 'horse to drink', once we have some solutions ??? 😢

i always relate to things that people who have gotten diagnosed with adhd but i myself havent been but i literally do the whole its all my fault thingy im cooked

I don't know if this will be seen, but one thing that I'd like to know more about is the development of the prefrontal cortex in young girls.
Could this difference be due to epigenetic activation due to our society expecting more "responsibility" from young girls?
Maybe this is already researched but I have never heard of it before. If so, are there also studies on the brain development of young kids who "had to grow up quickly" due to being on their own as well?
Would be good to figure out, if this one year difference is more strongly influenced by nature, or if our societal pressures influence it more strongly.

ADHD can also function as an external validator, that "I am bad" or simply not enough and that's why at some some point, one MUST turn away from an identification with their condition, and they do this by instead blaming themselves. Rather than belittle this phase, one should underdand it is also necessary, because they are trying to emotionally learn that they need to construct the flip side, that they need to believe in their ability to make choices, and believe in themselves regardless. But if you try this without also progressing along the path of forgiveness for self and other, you get stuck and so depression like tendencies are prolonged or progressed.

👏 😢❤

I don't have a diagnosis of adhd, vut I already have a schedule planned to go to a psychologist. I feel that every time anyone says "why aren't you studying" and I say "I don't know" they believe it's because I'm just that lazy I don't know what am I doing with my life. They saiy it's because of the lack of physical activity, they say it's because I need to concentrate in more important things, and they hope i'll someday have that "study habit". It kind of believe it could be because of the lack of physical movement and activation, but I don't think that's the problem. Every time I do some physical activity such as physical education classes, the next hour I'm actually being productive, but not at the thing that I intended. Anyways, I'm kinda lost at this moment, and I'm looking forward to the diagnosis every day, I hope it'll help me structure my world a bit better, even if I get a neurotypical diagnosis. At the end of the day, I'm still young, and they could think it's a puberty problem (which could be idk).

Love that you brought TNG into this!!!

Perimenopause has me struggling with allllllll the executive functioning things. Rushed out of work to an appointment with a new therapist this afternoon. Got there 1 minute late and turns out my appointment was cancelled bc I didn’t do my portal paperwork 24 hours ahead. I don’t even remember getting the link. (This paperwork was about goals and therapy issues. They had all my billing and demographic info already. There was no reason from a business standpoint to cancel the appointment). As if I didn’t already feel like I was failing at life I can’t even get the steps right to try and fix it! 😂 🤪🤬

I need this playlist in kid level words. This is the most compassionate, realistic, and relatable view, but I’m worried I won’t portray it to my kid at the same level of upbeat neutrality.

Aaaaaaaaand now i’m just an example of adult diagnosed ADHD thinking I’m going to mess it up. Still, tho.

(Just want to add menstrual cycle energy levels also screws with adhd med. Like pls give me two weeks at one dose and two week at a higher dose, but noooooo)

Thanks for "There ate four lights" reference

2+2 = 5 is also from the book "1984"

I have my suspicions, but I highly doubt I'll be able to receive a proper diagnosis because my country requires school reports, family anecdotes etc even for an adult diagnosis, which I do not have the luxury of due to my upbringing. 😅

OMG I'm waiting for my official diagnosis and I feel exectly the same way even though many of my symptoms point to it

Me who got diagnosed with adhd in 4th grade and the blame still got put on me

It’s these devices we have so much in our hand . The Internet robs our attention span . Too much screen time depressing we go from screen to screen iPhone to pc screen to tv screen it’s mashing our brains 🧠

I am pivoting to a new career now going to try and spply for jobs and really grateful to have my professors guiding me to help ne find jobs as well not just schooling.

Why do the gods refuse to share the secret of fire with us when they almost always say they understand the problems? What is behind the absolute refusal to share the common key that is used to overcome this common problem in life?