what it feels like to forgive yourself.

Я никогда не смогу простить себя.

Happy new year

Usually the stop sigh is in front of you, stopping you from going forward… today it’s different you went down a different street, you can go through now… you’re not stopping yourself anymore.

i was molested by my step father ages 3,4-8 and the biggest pain wasnt what happened to me, it was the fact that was the person my mother was sleeping with. i felt so disgusting. i still do. even with a restraining order and therapy i still feel so sick with myself like i was born a whore

Sometimes it seems to me that all the moments in my life have already happened, and it just seems to me that the reality I feel and see is just a memory that I scroll through before my death...

진짜 궁금해서 들어왔는데

I hate overthinking everything, my brain sabotages me by looking for worries to ruin my week, small problems turn into nightmares because I think too much, it's a pain, nothing distracts me, nothing cheers me up at these times, all that's left for me is to sink into worry and sadness until the reason for the worry proves otherwise, I don't blame the person, the cause of my worry, It's not her fault, it's just my brain sabotaging me once again as I try to be happy and fail miserably again.

배울 게 없는 고통과 실수는 없다고 생각하기로 했습니다.

Who else just realized changing as a person can feel exactly like grief?

나 자신이 용서가 안될 때 내 앞에 이 영상이 언젠간 찾아오겠지

이건 내가 다시 볼까봐 글을 남겨둔 것 입니다.

나의 잘못인줄 몰랐어 이미 틀어진 이후에야 깨닳았지 알게됨으로서 잘못을 인지하며 잊을 때 마다 다시 머릿속에 나타나며 나의 행동 마음 들을 조였고 어른이 되어서야 받아들이고 다신 절대 내 주변에 그런일은 못 일어나게 하겠다 라는 다짐을 가지니까 나를 얽매이는게 풀리더라

줄여서 말하면
이건 자신으로부터 무언가의 맹세야

I ain't changed, i'm still a bad man…

Gaahdammn bro, 1h to forgive myself for a whole life... Looks a good deal to me.

i really dont know what to do anymore no matter how hard i try to become better i just cant i dont want to give up but at this point it really seems hopeless i have noone i really need a hug man seriously i need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay.

I still don't know what this feeling of self-forgiveness is like.

Lost

eu sou um monstro

Thank you so much for the support<3

"Every drama comes from thinking" don't take yourself too seriously

I cried myself to sleep listening to this, but the comments were absolute solace after I woke up. I love you all

I don't know who needs to hear this but you're a based sigma

i cant

Se siente como un álbum de The Cure. Gracias. God love me

forgive and forget but I forgot to forgive

I don’t think I’m ready to forgive myself

„Всё закончилось ещё позавчера“

This is the best playlist for workout

I will never ever forgive myself, i'll die with hatred against me.

I live this playslist but there is an advert after every song it seems and its sickeningly annoying

I’ve done something so terrible that I doubt I’ll ever be able to forgive myself

I was having really nice holidays this year, I never felt so happy and peaceful, I actually felt like an angel. I loved it, until for some reason, my brain decided to haunt me with the memory of a mistake I made at 16.
At the time I was with a boy, we were in a ldr and he wanted to come to my town and see me. I did everything to let that happen, but I couldn't tell my parents, they would have never let me do that. And actually, they were right. When he came he stayed in town for three days and each day I saw him, without my parents knowing. The third day I was alone with him, in his hotel room, and I never felt so bad. I never felt so stressed, so scared, so uncomfortable in my entire life. We started making out, cause I thought that if I didn't at least kissed him or gave him permission to touch me maybe he would have left me, he would have been angry with me. But when I saw what direction it was taking, I stopped. I started crying before I could get to that point. For personal reasons, I don't want to have s3x before marriage, and since that day I started feeling sick, dirty.
I can't remember my first kiss cause it wasn't true. It's like if my brain never registered it.
When I remembered about this thing during my holidays, I started feeling physically sick. I thought that my parents would have hated me if they knew.
But then I couldn't hold it in anymore, and I went to my mother. I hugged her, I confessed what happened and her words are still in my head: "Nothing happened. Forgive yourself, cause God forgave you, and you can see it from the things that have been happening to you, the beautiful things you've been doing lately."

Since that day, I finally feel free. I finally let go. And I never felt so calm in my entire life.

your new life will cost you your old one

Esto se siente muy ajeno:/

🌌🔮🌌

I don't think that many people will read this but I'll just leave it here for myself. I wronged my best friend this new years. Done something that me and everyone else never thought I would do. It didn't feel like me. I had a lot of mixed feelings that night. Good ones and sad ones. I felt like I was a burden to everyone around me no matter how often they told me that I was a blessing for their life. It didn't matter how often they said it when I didn't see it myself. I loved her so much she felt like a sister to me. She always brought out the best in me and I changed so much since I knew her. I always gave her all the love that I had. I never would've wanted to do to her what I did if I was in the right state of mind. It didn't matter though because I did do it. It was neither the alcohol nor my mixed feelings. I did it. It hurts so damn much to know that I will never be able to right my past wrongs. Even after that she still didn't give me up completely. Told me she needs some time. Some months. I obviously accepted it. I told her I would get some professional help until then. It was a good sign. I saw some hope. After that though, an old friend who wronged me a while ago wrote me and provoked me. I threw something into her mailbox that I bought for her when we were still friends but never gave to her. She was angry about it. I just wanted to show her with that, that I am ready to let go and not be angry anymore. What she said made me so angry that I said a lot of mean stuff to her. She then showed it to my best friend who was then shocked and just now told me that she never wants to see me ever again. She is done with me and said I should leave her in the past. It broke my heart. I cried a lot until I just couldn't anymore. This is all so unfair. Life is so unfair. It simply isn't fair. I don't know what to do and I don't know where life will take me in the future or if I even will have a future to begin with. I have thoughts I never had before. I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I did or for throwing away all the good friends that I had. I doubt that I will ever forget what I did but if I ever do, read up on it again and remember you idiot. You fucked up and threw your good life away and it will never come back.

Я из россии всем привет

살아갈 기회를 주는거

before you move on.. have you forgiven yourself?

なんでこの動画が流れてきたんだろう

you have to be kind to yourself, you just gotta. there are no guarantees in this life including forgiveness from others. you have to forgive yourself because it is possible that nobody else will dare to.

yet, in the rare moments you do find kindness and forgiveness from others, hold it close.

どういうことなんだろう…
根底では、未だに自分を一番許せてない。

そこまで自分が好きじゃないからな

그제서야 비로소 자유로워지는 것.

Sometimes I think I’m not worth it

このタイトルを見た時、私達は自分の罪を探し始める

Is strange be a new person after you say I'm sorry to yourself.
Like you aren't feeling you, a despersonalización in Spanish (sorry my English is not to oerfect)
I have 23 years old and learned to say sorry to my self and that's is a good reason to live every day like a new opportunity to make yourself better
Saludos desde Chile

Im just so hurt right now. Everyone i cared about just seemed to try and hurt me. Over and over. Now im scared if it can get even worse... Images are stick in my head and i cant seem to loose them. The worst is waking up to your thoughts and images of people pissing on you and rub it in your face. I dont think im seeing myself as a victim even it might sound like it but as im writing all those memories just come back. The worst is that in this Moment my love is forgetting about me with some dude and i had to see it all. With her kid i treated as my own sleeping. Its just so stuck in me and thats the last blow now i think... Man i only want to scream an cry all day but my throat is already sore and hurting from the past days and every breath is reminding me of the misery i see myself in. I just needed to get rid of that and saw my chance here. The last piece of Love in my body to all you survivors. Even if you wish all would be over but for those last few people we care about we need to stay here. Im just 25 but all my life i just wanted to be loved and cared about. Never happened somehow and even if it was twice as hurtful in the end. With 18 i was still with some hope and determination but hurt after hurt i grew numb over time. Numb to joy, happines, beauty and... Love. Except all the bad memories and flashbacks, those i feel with great intensity. Nothing seems to fill this hole i call my purpose. At some point i wanted to get addictet and just slowly fade away so i would not commit "classic" suicide but i just felt so sick doing it and it takes so long i dropped that thought. Now i just wait and see if it will maybe one day do me anyways... I just want everything to stop, the world to stop turning, the people to stop acting... I stay up late at night because i feel better when i think all those happy people are paused and nothing will happen to hurt you. I watch those videos, read the commemts to maybe be able to sleep as soon as i dont have any energy left in this fucked body, i am writing until i cant anymore hoping this somehow works.(I aint even english, im german) Thats everynight now for some time. As soon as the weed is out my system i wake up after 3/4 hours and those thoughts immediately rob you every chance of sleeping again. I just needed to get rid of that.
What is darkness? Darkness is when there is no light at all. And the people we love are the light in our lives. The more of those lights are going out, the more we are descending into darkness.
Try to carry on as long as its not completely dark.

I feel like no matter how much I try to change and improve, fragments of the past always cling to me. Those memories of what happened to me will keep haunting me no matter how much I try to forget. I wish I could just burn my past away. I'll never forgive myself for letting them touch me. For letting them take my innocence away from me. I feel so disgusting.

Do not play this music in winter, makes you feel even more cold.