Avoidant Attachment & Break-Ups | On Attachment

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Makes sense! Though I will say, in many cases, I think avoidant people cause their partners anxiety, even when their partner was initially psychologically well.

Feminism is the Real problem for us all!

avoidant people should just be alone, die alone, so they don’t mess up other people’s life

What can you doin this case as an anxious person, before you guys split?
I have been trying to control my emotions and actions more lately - I speak more about what I can cotrol, how I feel in different scenarios. I control myself and the language and watch that I am not attacking the other person.
We do not *fight*, argue too much or have many complains. just have these conversations about feelings, etc. But yes, for me it feels like it is all tiring them and burdening in a way.
What can be done in a way? I have started taking therapy (cuz I am trying to find validation and reassurance from this person, but probably just don't validate myself from within) but I am only at the beginning of the way and I wonder if I could start doing sth or behaving in another way in this relationship. I do not want it to become tiring for the other person.

Anxious ppl get overwhelmed too and they value relational harmony too. And anxious folks want to leave too and often leave first.

So on the outside they seem fine but do they come to face their emotions and then feel sad too? Or do they feel that sadness at all, later, etc? 🙏🏽🤍

Excuses, excuses, excuses. If meeting a romantic partner's needs is such a dreadful burden, why don't avoidants just "avoid" suckering innocent kind-hearted people into relationships? This just sounds like an attempt to slap a benign-sounding label on gross narcissism.

This is so on point. Where can I see the rest of this video?

Anxious people value harmony more because they work on getting things fixed. I just think avoidant people value their own emotions more than the relationship.

My ex is fearful avoidant. Her comfort zone is the honeymoon stage, so she jumps from dude to dude. She’s already jumped to her new dude.

Avoidant types kind of suck...they never desire to solve the root of their trauma causing their avoidant attachment...anxious folks try to fix shit...🤨

so sad as I’m watching this exactly what you explain here just happened and I can still see both sides. I can understand his side but I can also empathise with my point of view and why I behaved how I did and so I think I really have been a burden to him with my insecurities, and so I guess I was really too much for him, but on the other hand, it was really his miscommunication, which also let me being more insecure compared to other men who can communicate better … and we are separated now but we ran into each other couple of times afterwards. One week after the break up, he even approached me in in the club, and we kissed. I thought we would get back together, although I have been very honest with him that I think we need to work on each other. Maybe this was the point that triggered him I don’t know but yeah after phone call it was clear that he did not think that we should get back together … so we had our last conversation on WhatsApp where he didn’t reply anymore. Although one could say the conversation was also finished, so it was not really ghosting,… then again, because we go to the same events, live in the same city and stuff we met again, had been very polite with small talk we are very polite some small talk but do not talk in WhatsApp anymore so there’s no real contact anymore and the sad thing is - what also my best friend observed - when we see each other it’s always like this the sort of connection and we have many things in common.

I’ve never met a man who has so many things in common with me like future goals, hobbies, future visions, political thinking, or attitudes and especially my passion music, making music and ….we would have been a perfect couple that could not make it due to those attachment styles, such a shame