10 signs of emotionally and physically abusive relationships

I'm in the middle of getting out right now after 21 years I have been married and just now ruminating to a narcissistic psychopath. I will say more once safe. My whole purpose was a lie..but I will build a new.

I can't get out it. I recognize it but I keep falling back. Everytime I stand up for myself I immediately feel guilty. I think of what hurt him to be this way. Then I feel sorry and I miss him and I go back. Sometimes I feel I go back because I fear what may happen if I don't.

The biggest sign is that you are watching these videos.

Abuse is a sign that you are asking to be hurt. You are the problem, not them. You do things that make them angry on purpose. And you refuse to do what they say. So they abuse you to reset you. Think of an abusive Husband. He is not hitting you because he wants to. It is because you make him so mad. If you do what he tells you to do, act in the manner that he demands and say what he allows you to say the abuse will stop. So stop doing things wrong and being an idiot and the abuse will stop.

I am currently experiencing abuse by my BPD husband. The gaslighting, blaming, withholding, punishing, etc is awful. I can literally feel my brain chemistry changing after 10 years of this.

After 6 years of gaslighting, humiliation, lashing out and love bombing, she cheated and blamed it all on me. That was my wake up call.

When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it.

They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves.

When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.

Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective MetaspyHub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

I was married to a man who used to abuse me physically, emotionally and financially. Our main problem was around the properties that we owned together. After completing our first house back home as we were working in the diaspora my ex-hubby asked his family to move into the house without discussing the same with me. I only got to know that the house was already occupied after some months making it difficult for me to express my feelings about it. The relatives stayed in the house for 4 years rent free and my husband paying the bills behind my back. It was time for me to stop all this bullshit and he started blaming me for not liking his relatives. The mooching, gaslighting and manipulation continued until I could not stand it.

Everytime I ask for holidays with children I was told there is no money but after all the hard work of building 2 houses at home and a farm we had no time for ourselves or even benefit from our hardworking.

I am not putting a tag on quiet and introverted people but one opt to careful around such people. He was a sweet person to outsiders but horrible to me. When I try to discuss with family or friends of what I go through no one believed me😢😢.

They gaslight ypu and try and turn it all around into being YOUR fault.

Thanks for telling it like it is, Doc

Once you’re out of it, it’s even harder to forgive.

Abusive relationships are often seen as something that exclusively women deal with, but it can happen to anyone, male or female. It happened to me.

Im going through it all an he has made my life hell 32yrs of it an it's always my fault he left a few ago an doesn't want to end the relationship but watching this I see I need help so much. It's distorying me I don't know me anymore thankyou for video.😢

You gotta be in one first

Amazing. Said yes to all the list. I just ended a relationship that lasted a year and then gave him a second chance and in one month he started the same pattern again.. It only took one more conflict to receive insults and yelling that was so bad, my nervous system said “I cant do this anymore, its to stressful” and he couldnt believe I ended it. I will never tolérate that lack of respect again. He yelled at me so bad because one day I couldnt see him when he wanted to, I wasnt allowed to decide how to even spend my day. It is hard to end this dynamics but I once again did it for my mental health.

Help!😊😊

I think my gf is abusing me. She’s hit me and isolated me and won’t let me see friends or family.

Sad how i get rejected by girls that go for the abusive jerks and tgey claim they want someone good horrible people is what they are

I have been stuck in a cycle of abuse for years. It is crazy how you internalize it as this is just what love is and this is normal. Asking them not to tell friends and family about their multiple affairs because it makes staying look bad. You rationalize, you are doing it for the kids, they will change, Covid was a hard time, people have mental health struggles. You eventually run out and when they keep blaming you for all their problems and trying to tell you that your reality isn’t real anymore it just breaks. Yet, it I still somehow can’t let go. I am stuck with fear for my girls and future and even somehow love for my wife.

I’m going thru this… staying in hotels. I think it will get better. Males arnt the typical abuser

10 years of abuse physical, verbal, and emotional. She has no idea how to get herself straight. We have a child and I’m about to leave because I don’t want my son to observe the toxic behavior.

I will be homeless but hey 🤷🏾‍♂️ could be worse. 😂

I was in one

I need help, I am sorry but where do I find the link to the two websites referenced in the video?

My ex girlfriend was very abusive. I've been writing this down and writing examples I can remember and I am astonished at how much I was blind to just because I didn't want to be alone.

I have generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder and can't work, went to a therapist, she told me to get a job. She was licensed.

I am in one now and cannot escape, my partner has had and is now in emotional and physical affairs with multiple others and will not pledge to keep me from emotional harm as her emotional needs are paramount and mine must wait until she has reached a satisfactory end to her affair. After over a decade in my relationship and more than 20yrs of knowing my spouse it is clear that she will never stop instilling fear and harm in our day to day interaction and her BPD need to connect with narcissist's menially and physically. She has an ingrained attraction to the abuse an behavior they display and emulates or transfers their actions behaviors and worldview to define what is acceptable within or relationship.

If I attempt to stand up for what I need want desire or deserve for me to feel safe she claims I am gaslighting her and being too demanding of her time, or actions and smothering her, and not giving her enough time with or to get over her current or last affair. If I try close, leave or withdraw from our marriage she brings up how much she had to do for me over the years how much of a burden I am and she is without understanding or at least acknowledging the toll that her continued actions have had on my growth or lack there of, all the while telling me I am abusive by not letting her do whatever she wants to and in spite of me, saying I should or should have left her after the first affair but acting as though since I did stay all that she does is allowed and am now overreacting by trying to leave as she takes steps to separate us on her terms and keep me dependent on her help and direction.

I am a shell of what I once was, or could be. I had a budding art career , I was extremely social and outgoing , "the guy who knew everyone' not always happy but hopeful, strong, now I fear her leaving me and hurting me while doing so, even as I try to leave her myself . I miss the wonderful woman she was and still is sometimes (but now more to other people, like her current narcissist than to me ) but she will never be that way to me again and probably never really was.

She wants someone like me, but not me. She needs me but not just me . The grass is always greener but she wont let go keeping the sun from our patch. I'm the love of her life but not good enough to love her in a way she'll love back the same. I am the first after thought and the last to know, almost the man of her dreams but a future with me gives her nightmares.

Not helpful

He accusing me everytime thay i cheating on him😢 that he don't have a evidence.and the truth is didn't do it 😭only i work very hard for my 3 kids.o don't have privacy of my phone every time he open my messages and read, every time where I go he want to know all my activity.i don't have a freedom to go out and have fun with my friends.

I'm so tired 😭of my life situation 😭

I ended an abusive relationship for the 2nd time, with the same person, 5 years ago. All of the signs cited here were present both times we were together. It took me a long time to figure out that the issue was as much about my feeling unworthy as it was about the other person’s abusive behavior. I didn’t believe I deserved anything better. The day I left for the second time I felt about 3 feet tall, having been beaten down emotionally for so long. It’s been a long, hard road back to self-love, but the journey has been SO, SO worth it. Take this good doctor’s advice . You’re worth it.
❤🙏🏼❤️

Growing up, my dad was very emotionally and verbally abusive. He’d yell extremely loud over the littlest things or for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I know he suffered from severe PTSD which I won’t go into, but there was no excuse for him to take his anger out on me. I also believe that he has narcissistic traits. For example, whenever I would go to stand up to bullies, I felt like my dad would side with the bullies over me. After dealing with my bullies, he would scream at me. Also, my parents were constantly screaming and arguing with each other over God knows what. One day, he was caught cheating with another woman. When he found out that we found out, I was scared of him. He tried to make amends, but I had so much anger and hatred towards him. Eventually, after a few weeks, my parents spoke to each other. He went to individual therapy for his PTSD. My mom and dad also went to couples counseling, and they’ve been doing a lot better. They get along pretty well now. My dad hasn’t done anything like that since, and I pray it stays that way. It took awhile for me to even speak to my dad, but we’ve patched things up and have a better relationship. I still have a lot of anger towards him.

If all this is over, then why do I still have so much pent up anger, frustration, and pain?

How do I get rid of my anger in a healthy, constructive way? Advice from anyone who’s gone through something similar would be much appreciated. Thank you ✊

Also, I should mention that both my parents can be manipulative. My mom more so nowadays than my dad, and I’m tired of it. Everything with her is a problem and a night at the opera. She’s really pissing me off and pushing me away.

I love my parents. They’re supportive, but I’m trying to detach myself from them also

I travelled for the first time with my bf of about 4 months (to another country to introduce him to my family) and during the trip he did many verbally abusive things including yelling threats at me while my father was only a few feet away, Even though I truly loved this man, I knew right there it was over! Looking at how comfortable this man could yell at me in front of my own father told me he had the potential to harm me behind closed doors. I think the red flags are always there, but some of us ladies ignore red flags in the beginning because we're blinded by "love".

I can’t tell you how many times I was yelled at, screamed at, and called every horrible name in the book.

What happens if you are in it for a few months and get verbally abusive also, recently I responded physically too - they have never actually raised a hand on me but they have hit things around me, but I retaliated and lightly slapped them. i left immediately but then they say I'm abusive now.. I'm so confused

This is great. Very helpful indeed. There are so many people suffering from one form of abuse or the other. Since abusers never change, it’s better and safer to take a walk from them and never look back. Returning to an abuser is usually risky and a waste of time. I lived with one for 37 years. I regret not leaving much earlier; and that's because I kept hoping that he'll change but he never did.

They isolated me from my friends and family. I felt like theyd always go through my phone looking for something to start a fight about. I took to chat sites to talk to strangers cause i was cut off from my closest friends and family. We broke up and got back together again... i was shunned by both friends and family and felt lonlier than ever. I still dont have anyone... but im speaking to a counselor and I'm trying to get the help i need... but im still alone, as nobody stands with me anymore. Life is tough, but I'll do my best to move forward again

This is literally my last relationship

My emotional and physical abuse started at a young age. Of course when I was with my ex I felt like I was at home. Then one day someone was dealing with what I was. That's when I recognized all his issues he was describing it felt like he was talking about my ex. That's when I slowly eased away and she made it pretty easy to go since she told me she didn't want me around after I stopped letting her control me. She use to get mad after I spent a day at work got home did the dishes took the trash out cleaned up messes then I'd jump on Xbox. She'd get so upset but when I went to lay with her shed just be on her phone. So, it was like I was her lap dog. I'm so glad I was able to identify it through someone else situation.

I said yes to 9. Only to 5 (thinking all problems of relationship are my fault) I said "no" but because I could block my mind to all types of gaslighting. I am a man who. Is in an abusive relationship with a girl that, I have sure, has Bpd. I saw the DSM V diagnosis criteria and red a lot, having the notion that I am not professional and can not make diagnose, but, even though, I am graduated in nutrition and sports science and I also studied a lot of psychology. Still, I know that it is not enough to make a diagnosis, but I live all day with her and, with an equilibrated mind and trying to doubt I was right, I could not think different. She has bpd, the impulsive type. Yes, that is not agreed that bpd has categories and each person can have a whole spectrum of behaviors. Even though, she mixes narcisistic and bpd behaviors. She is charming and explosive, but feels abandonment a lot and makes everything to stay in the relationship. She ve heard from me many times I was not happy but she insists. When we argue, I am always wrong and if she perceives I am about to leave her, she pretends nothing happened. Well, she gained territory with my mom and sister, and with my friends. Even her dog she uses, because she knows I love it nad would be sad leaving them. I started to have anxiety episodes and dont know what to do. I respect her and understand her pain, even she does not have bpd, but I do not love her anymore and I am afraid to say that I wanna leave. i dont know what to do

Oh damn..... I need help

I finally got out with a smashburger. Cost me 10 grand and haven't felt this good in a lot of years.
She's wanting me to stop the divorce but no way am I going back to physical and mental abuse.

Feel it from the heart

This applys mostly to men who pick on women past a certain age, not married, no kids irritating 😡🤬

l recognized that my Relationship was Abusive when my EVIL Abusive Ex didn't Listen to anything l said.

When l said "No" to him, he ignored me, and did whatever he wanted. Even after l said No.

Yeah, but no one believes you, cares or is going to help you if you're going through this, unfortunately

Leave you don't deserve this .Find a safe way to leave. Call the police 🚔 if violent. Iknow someone that said her new partner beat her up a female and when she threatened to call the police 🚔 The abuser started beating her self up .And checked in to a women domestic violence centre. That is pure narracastic and no doubt said it was the victim that bashed her .Narracastic people set traps and are dangerous they plan every thing and fool the police 🚔 and everyone saying you are the narracastic person. They have no Emphany and enjoy making you suffer. You can't fix them you have look after you .Get out so you can recover mentally and physically. No one deserves this abuse .love your self enough to heal get brave get away .And have no contact with them. Hard if you have children but find away around it .Your children see that abuse and are effective mentally also .Do it for them also .❤

I feel trapped in my own mind. I have anxiety all day specially when he arrives home. I wake up in the morning reading how he woke up, if it's going to be a good day or not. It is exhausting ☹️
I try to do everything to his expectations but it never seems to be enough. I hope in my next life Im a bird, to feel free🙏🏼

My wife of 24 years is exhibiting these behaviors towards me now. It is very sad to be going through this because I am so devastated after years of trying to be what "she" wants me to be. Now I realize that me as a person doesn't grab her the same anyone and it is time to move on. Now I have too look inwards and think about what I have done wrong in spite of my best efforts as a husband and father.