What We’re Going Back To From Our Legalistic Backgrounds | Ep. 401

Thank you for this encouraging video! My husband is considering starting a dad and son fellowship similar to the one Elijah has discussed. Would you consider doing a video on what this fellowship looks like—how often you meet, what types of activities you might do, how you choose books for the group, etc? I think it could be so encouraging for others.

Legalism is so destructive. I grew up in order to be saved as a woman I had to wear skirts/dresses, no make up, no jewelry. Legalism takes the message of the cross away. We can’t work our way to heaven. I would love a whole podcast on legalism

Men should be held to modesty standards too

Bluegrass/folk 👍 🎶 our fav!! Have fam in Arkansas and I’ve gone there since a baby and lived there for a year, and loved going to listen to live bluegrass, esp gospel bluegrass 🥰 love the fiddle and banjo 🪕 upright bass etc. ahhh the best. My pops went to be with Jesus in 2021, but he used to play on occasion, his harmonica. Miss those times. Think he had it since Vietnam and played it there too. 😊❤ gosh, would love our boys to learn the fiddle or so- maybe check y’all out sometime 👍 my sis played the violin for a bit when young. I did the flute haha and brother the drums.

Going to the beach in Destin FL or Ventura California or Hawaii is DUMB. You're kidding yourself and your husband is lying if he says that it's not a problem. It's like saying you should be able to go to a steip club or Hooters and not be affected by it.

We're giving men license to lust by loitering at the beach. They like that naively give them permission to pretend it's not a problem.

ALLIEBETH Stuckey just did a segment on how the bikinis are now becoming g strings with butt cheeks fully exposed on teens girls and moms alike.

It is sin to view their bodies.

Read about Noah and his sons and God's judgment just for seeing their own father's nakedness.

Your Dad wanted to be a ski bum and beach bum and legitimize it and then wondered why lust was a problem for him. Just being very frank here.

We do not have to hang out at the beach as Christians. It's like saying you must go to the bar or Vegas or a strip club and just cope or just deal.

We can do other things like hike and find a secluded beach etc. Beaches are folly.

There are 2 factors with the beach, not 1.

1. Issue #1 is obviously lust 2. Is simply seeing people's nakedness is sin. You see more skin at the beach than in Vogue magazine or at a night club. We cannot control that.

All we can do is remove ourselves from the situation.

In Australia and other places, they take their tops completely off. When I was at Bondi Beach in Sydney, there was a boardwalk above the beach. MANY men strolled the boardwalk with binoculars and cameras.

AllieBeth Stuckey recently talked about everyone wearing string bikinis with full bottoms hanging out. It's wrong fir us to view people's bodies on display. And it's 99% cettain lust will follow.

Denim gal here too 🩵 👍
Great episode y’all!

Thank you guys for this conversation! I love listening to you two. This was so encouraging and eye opening for me as I often fall into the hole of working for salvation not realizing I’m relying on my good discipline to keep me saved.. this gave me great comfort and clarity. Thank you

Censoring comments is 💯 legalistic behavior. My entire comment on secular music got deleted.

I am half way through with this episode and it is great. I wanted to say, I grew up on a very legalistic church. That had a negative impact on me. I didn’t really come to know Christ until he took me through a heart wrenching dark time that exposed my heart and need for him. I didn’t understand his grace until he slowly healed my heart from my own blindness. All that to say, we walk in holiness, out of a love and grateful heart, not because of fear. When we see and savor Jesus through the Holy Spirit giving us eyes to see, our “doing” is what naturally happens when we have really seen his love for us. There is no legalism in it. I love what John Piper says, “Christ is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him.” It is so true.

My grandfather said every Sunday "we are going to get right with God" and when we walked out of church "We've been well churched". I miss him so much

I think it's all in the motive. Are we doing the thing out of pride or fear? It's probably legalism. Are you doing it out of love and gratitude? Wonderful. Even then, we need to have the humility and wisdom not to constantly evangelize our personal convictions. You might say "getting up early is beneficial for everyone!" But you don't know their health, how much sleep they require, do they have a new baby? So much to consider before you decide to weigh someone down with that. Make sure you're being a blessing and not a burden.

Please can you send the swimwear link

I apperciate you speaking truth!

Would you be willing to share your country or blue grass playlist or artist you like? I would be interested in checking them out.

P.S. My husband loves listening to Cory Wong

Would you be willing to share your country or blue grass playlist or artist you like? I would be interested in checking them out.

P.S. My husband loves listening to Cory Wong


Also, I have a similar swimsuit and I feel so comfortable in it. I feel like if I can’t wear it in front of anyone and it any place then I shouldn’t wear it

This was so good, thank you! Would love to listen to some of the music you guys talked about - Could you share your Spotify playlists?

James 4:17 ESV
[17] So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

I have a genuine question for you since you’re reformed Calvinists. Honestly what are the chances that your parents, you and your siblings, and all of your children are “chosen”? As a Calvinist the belief is that if you’re predestined/chosen by God, you WILL serve Him. And if you’re not predestined, no matter what, you will end up not being truly saved. Again, what are the chances that everyone in your family is chosen? Rather, if you hear the gospel and have faith, repent, and follow Him, that’s what leads to salvation. No, we cannot ever earn our salvation, but Jesus wants willing followers. Not forced by His own choosing or lack of choosing. I hope my question makes sense and something to truly meditate on as you read scripture that “God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. Key words; the world and whosoever believeth. His saving Grace is available to all.

Please share some of the books that both of you read growing up that you feel like helped with your convictions, such as the Bob Schultz books you brought up. Would love to know some references for my children as someone who was not exposed to these types of books growing up

I think it’s key to remember maturity like Katie expressed. Yes we’re to walk in the spirit and being under Christ is what saves us, but we’re not perfect YET! Christ is perfecting us and through our walk with Christ eventually we won’t necessarily need the practical things, but man do they help while we’re still in these fleshly bodies.

Love the definition from ChatGPT. I agree with this

Legalism (being legalistic) typically refers to:

Relying on strict adherence to laws, rules, or rituals as the basis for righteousness, favor with God, or salvation — often without regard to the heart, faith, or mercy.

It’s not about loving God’s law or obeying Him in faith (which is good and biblical); rather, it’s about:
• Obedience without faith or love
• Measuring righteousness by performance
• Replacing relationship with ritual
• Adding human traditions or burdens beyond God’s commands
• Judging others harshly while missing the spirit of the law

Legalism is when:
• You obey without relationship.
• You fear judgment more than you love the Judge.
• You follow rules to earn God’s favor, instead of obeying because you already trust Him.
• You judge others by a law you yourself don’t live by in faith (Romans 2:1-3).

Legalism lacks grace, humility, and the Spirit.

Discipline Isn’t Legalism — It’s Love Rooted in Purpose

For example I setting alarms for the hours of prayer - this is not legalistic — it’s discipline flowing from a desire to walk closely with God.

Yes, people may perceive it as legalistic, but if you haven’t established the habit, you’ll never do it.

That’s wisdom — and biblical. Even Daniel (Daniel 6:10) prayed three times a day as was his custom. David said, “Early will I seek thee” (Psalm 63:1). These are not legalistic behaviors — they’re rhythms of devotion.

🔹 Legalism says, “Do this or else.”
🔹 Discipline says, “I do this so I can abide in Him.”

Grace Is Not Laziness. It’s Room to Grow

You mentioned how waking up early or doing devotions can sometimes fall apart in seasons of life - like with a newborn - and that’s exactly where grace, mercy, and balance come in.

🔹 Grace doesn’t erase the desire for holiness - it empowers it.
🔹 Mercy makes room for the seasons we’re seedlings, not fruit-bearers yet.

Judging Others Too Soon Is Judging Christ’s Process - We are all on a journey to full maturation.

When we judge others for the stage they’re at, we are judging Christ, because He is the author and finisher of their faith.

That’s profound. Paul says, “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? To his own master he standeth or falleth” (Romans 14:4).
Even in rebuke, Paul speaks to believers as brethren, not outcasts.

🔹 Legalism says, “You’re not a real Christian because you don’t look like me.”
🔹 Grace says, “You are Christ’s, and He’s still working in you.”

Legalism focuses on outward compliance instead of inner transformation.
• Discipline is love in motion — the structure that supports spiritual growth.
• Grace makes space for growth, slowness, imperfection, and seasons.
• We are all being perfected by Christ, not by our checklists.
• The law is holy, but without faith and love, it becomes a burden.

You are both having great hair days/great hair months. 😊

Instead of questioning how I walk in front of God, it’s better to ask, Am I walking in Jesus? The first focuses on outward performance and can become legalistic, the second reflects a genuine relationship with Christ, being in Him, not just acting for Him.

As a believer who’s parents came to faith from secular backgrounds, and now I’m married to a first generation believer, you have no idea how blessed you are to have generations (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc) walking in faith. It can be very lonely and hard trying to establish a new generation for the Lord with much extended family who are in the world. God willing, in a few generations, we will look back and see a strong remnant in our family’s lineage for the Lord.

It 100% makes sense! I receive what you are explaining because I to had a similar journey with these things.

Thank you for sharing your journey in this! It’s so encouraging to hear a voice of balance on these topics.

Awesome podcast! I think the wisdom & anointing is on you two because some days I turn on uour poddy & it's like my brain is relieved in many things the holy spirit has brought to my attention. ---Between this poddy & the At home with the Beveres, I'm figuring out so much my mind has wrestled against. Is this right is that right with legalism or just like ya'll said plain laziness to depict things & have a co existence in a healthy vision with things like clean country love songs that spark goodness, or not avoiding the beach but finding a more family friendly less busy area to enjoy while dressing modestly with our things covered that should be covered. And most importantly knowing that God is a merciful God who sees the young lives were raising (parents of five homeschool littles) and all the effort to keep our income & homes in order. He sees where we include him throughout our days even if we don't have that early rise quiet time. But I do see where he's been waking me before our two youngest to gather my mindset and I know it's the Lord because this mama is exhausted even after 7 or 8 hours of sleep usually needing caffeine to feel alive. 😅❤

Wow what an encouraging talk. Thank yoi for being faithful and sharing what the Lord is showing you. 🤍

Wow. Thank you so much for being vulnerable Katie and Elisha. This episode was great and very encouraging for me. I am a fairly new believer, was saved at 17, married at 19, and now I’m 24 with 3 babies, married to the absolute love of my life, but I have been struggling in my faith lately. I also believe that my theology made me misunderstand what my walk should look like with Christ. I keep using “well Christ paid it all, and I’ll be okay” as an excuse to not be in the word and to get up early. Having 3 young children is an excuse I also use, but it needs to be the very thing that gets me in Gods word!!! I have these 3 young children looking to ME to set the example of who Christ is and I’m a lousy example right now. Thank you for igniting a fire in me to get back to waking early, reading Gods word, and memorizing scripture to store in my heart for when motherhood and marriage gets tough. ❤️🙏🏼

I think it all boils down to our love for God because He made us and saved us. What we do in life—what we wear, listen to, watch, read, eat; practically the way we live should be fueled by our love for our God. I am reminded of 1 Cor 10:31 “Whether we eat or drink or whatever ye do, do it all for the glory of God.” Also, time spent with God in the quiet time of the day is time invested and not time wasted. Imagine checking in with our Master who is the Source of all things, unburdening ourselves to Him through prayer, and meditating upon His Word—such a real blessing! Ah, what a great opportunity to serve God and live with Him each day, reaching a higher standard for the Lord, shining for Him each day.

What a great episode! So relatable. Praise God!