What the avoidant experiences during no contact

Yeah, once we’re gone, we’ll come back swooping in, but it only lasts for one day or two then they’ll completely detach again. The cycle is horrible and frustrating and draining. ❤

So frustrating I didn’t know that you would have to actually chase a man and initiate everything for them so backwards.. draining as well! A woman initiating everything but then when they barely talk to you, you don’t know whether or not you’re doing enough for them when it’s against your realms, actually initiate go above and beyond for somebody that barely shows feelings for you.. mindF

so he has stonewalled me now about 5 weeks, no discussion of breaking up, he walked away from me during a moment of me sharing a feeling, so I don't even know we are in one, I refuse to reach out to him due to hurtful words by him before he shut the door and walked away

I keep watching your videos, they help me rethink before I try to reach them out 😢. It's painful, it really hurts. I still miss him though it's been 2 years now😢. Thank you so much for your support & empowering words& questions. Thx a lot. You're blessed 🤍

Actually I told a guy that I am distancing myself until he dealt with his problems and grow up
Play time is over
Emotionally stunted
Smh😅

He cheated throughout the marriage as he couldn’t cope. I left and three yrs later, he states he missed me and is in therapy. HE wants to date once a week and wants to be with others. No thanks. This is f’d. Give me my money and I’ll be on my way. No amount of counselling will help bring this boy out of the sandbox.

I just ended it finally and blocked him. The dismissive behavior is the most incomprehensible thing I ever saw in my life. I'm so glad that I can stop watching all those videos and to not deal with this DISORDER anymore. It isn't an attachment "style" , this is a disorder.

Coach Ryan you are the best on avoidants, I like the way you explain them to us with broken hearts. Thank you ❤

After listening to these avoidant videos Ryan, I’m sure my ex was a huge avoidant. She gave me the most amazing compliments, encouragement, love, support over a one and a half year long distance relationship but recently, over a 2-3 week period, turned into a totally (in)different person, with no emotions or communication or commitment and simply walked out on me and I couldn’t believe if it was the same person that I knew over the past one and a half year. She just became totally emotionally deactivated. Interestingly though, eight days into our break up, she removed me from Instagram and Facebook (but left WhatsApp open). I couldn’t believe that a person who loved me so much could do that. Since then, I’ve been wondering what that means? Why would she not even want to stalk me or be curious to know what I’m doing? You mentioned they’d stalk you so just curious what my situation suggests.

that makes sense.🙌🏼
But can an avoidant ever be a healthy relationship person?

You know the sad part of all of this is that it comes a day late and a dollar short.. .fuck'em

We broke up and got back together so many times over the year n half.

Love bombed me in the beginning.

Year and a half later she tells me to move on and that im a good looking guy and that i can have any woman. Kinda heart broken… almost a month no contact. Dont think she cares.. life goes on i guess. We also have the same friend group. Its tough. Id be shocked if she apologized and wanted to see me.

Am certain he's experiencing passion with another...period

This is so true! I got ghosted all of a sudden out of nowhere and I am positive there was an affair involved too. I baited her when I told her that I had a date after all the messaging and no reply. Then as a bit of a narcissist myself, told her I slept with a woman too! I refuse to empower any longer.
When you poop on someone you might not like the smell.

❤❤❤❤

You are right, I love all your videos it making sense to compare other Avoidant 's videos.. I agree with you those Avoidant at the beginning is good and then slow fading one is hard .. those Avoidant should not have any relationship if they enjoy being avoidant why they 're seek out relationship in the end they going to discard people .. but I realized the hard lessons we should not allowed it .. do not enable their behaviour .. no matter how hard do not contact them is the right action for our own seek and well being! THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your videos and I love them all!

Mine moved on before he broke up with me. He was cheating! He told me he is going to marry and start a family with her.

😢

What if you hurt her and she said she don't want nothing to do with me?

Well that was a tough pill to swallow, I was really hoping she wasn’t an avoidant but the ghosting and then the monkey branching…the lack of an ability to communicate

I Ignore's last two texts, he just dosent care and isn't bothered. So guess he never cared at all

two of my exes are like this. such a sad life to live

Great video

Crazy how you mentioned they like your story to bait you to message them I’m so happy I didn’t fall for the trap she hasn’t responded back to my text. The silent treatment/ stonewalling is very immature

If one needs to protect ourselves when the avoidant man decides to reach out or return, that's already tell you who's protecting who .
Sending much 💗

I’d still take my FA back <3 I love that man. All relationships are hard, and I’m tough 💓💪 and ready to try and put in the work.

Everything was Fine before class holidays, she was Sweet, did go out with me and all. But mid vacation inútil classes started again she got more and more distant. A bad thing happens in her life, and she said she wanted some time. We were only texting now, and It was just short, cold messages she Gave. She didnt seem upset with her friend, but i let some time pass anyway. I finally couldnt hold It anymore and tried tô ask her whats wrong, we ended up discussing, her avoiding any talk and saying I was too attached (which was probably true). We ended up breaking anything we had, and I tried to ignore her so I wouldnt feel more hurt, but she insisted we kept as friends. When i finally accepts It, in the matter of hours she asks me If x's friend is single, which I replied idk and why, which she responds she is attracted to him. She's a b*, knows How i feel about her and she Just didnt Care to come and tell me that. I went on whats with x and asked him If his friend had a gf, he answered no, but then I asked If she hooked UP with a girl recently, which he Said yes, but unfortunately didnt give details. I knows its wrong, but i deleted the "no, he doesnt have a gf" and the Hook up part, so It seemed he Said that yes, he had Someone already. I showed her the textos after I Talked a bit, trying not to raise suspicion, and idk If she believed. Anyway, she liked a Photo on his Instagram and he did the same to hers. Either she didnt Care he was compromised or didnt fall for It. I am wrong at trying this, but she still is an unsensitive being, crushing my heart even after I accepted to keep contacto after she didnt want to be with me anymore

Your wisdom has been invaluable in my beginning to heal. This is challenging stuff to process and move through. Having the intellectual explanation is quite sobering and ultimately strengthening. Thank you.

This is narcisistic!

Brilliant spot on great advice

Relief..

Your absolutely right my Dear sir , thank you for posting this , coz I'm one of the people who need to hear this rightnow ❤

The worst feeling is when you find out your ex is an avoidant

He does have a counselor who comes to see him once a week. I just found this out the other night. Thing is..the counseling wasn't his idea. He's living in an assisted facility, due to neuropathy in his legs and feet. His health, as well as his behavior, is complicated by..alcoholism. So, the facility wanted him to start counseling. He agreed to it, but, in his words, the only reason was because he "doesn't like to make waves."

I asked him if he's, you know, truly working with the guy. Or just..maybe cooperating to, well, like he said, to not make waves.

I wish I could be more involved. He just kind of drops these bits of information, but doesn't say much more. So, I have no idea if he's telling me this to..honestly share he's trying to get help, without making a big deal of it/for his pride. Or..just dangling it in front of me to..keep me connected, even if it's just on the back-burner.

I should have stayed single.
My life is fucked.

I wasn't anxious at all before i met an avoidant man and now that I'm single again, my sense of peace has returned 🥰 never again will i allow someone to cause me to feel so unwanted and so low because of their immense insecurities/low self esteem. They are onto the next one and im saying ✌️✌️

Just, did my duty and finally i am relieved of it and will stay strong to not be available anymore

Thank you for your advice 💯

She's a runner she's a track starrrrr

I realize that I gave my avoidant the same energy he gave me. If an avoidant is insecure and looking for me to reach out. Nope, not me. So I, as he sees me he sees me, sees me every Sunday. My NO CONTACT Whatever he is feeling means nothing to me. I'm not going to pacify an avoidant. I'm a grown a~~ woman. I'm in no need to fall at the need of an avoidant. He can watch and see my beauty every time. As I'm a child of God. If God chooses him for me. GOD will have to hunt me. Point Blank Periodod!!

I am an avoidant and i gotta aay you nailed it. You perfectly explained me just now 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Well it's not a safe relationship when you feel the need to protect yourself from someone. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's gonna make you feel limerent and eventually lose your stability and sanity

kill that music please

I am so amused by your videos as an avoidant. Why don’t you just teach people how to communicate with an avoidant? Like asking them how much closeness they are comfortable with? And if that isn’t what you want leave.

I have felt huge relief once I’ve discarded and I definitely never felt curious. If someone triggers my avoidant behaviours I know it’s a compatibility thing and 100% they weren’t right for me. We are not intentionally going round ‘breaking hearts’ it’s just a mismatch of needs and we aren’t good at communicating or ending the relationship in a healthier manner.

My husband said he cheated the entire time to keep himself protected.

Why cant being upfront just be enough. At this point its just playing games. I remember once i was told shes not the callrr but the called. But when we first met she called me everyday than began bread crumbing and falling off the face of the earth.

Wow, another gem of a video, you are answering all my questions ❤❤❤ Thank you Coach Ryan.

Would I be advised to do no contact if our relationship was only 2 months long but was very loving and intense? Nothing bad happened, she just one day was pulling away after a previous day of being super close, intimate, and she just said " She didn't think she could do this " She cried and I let her drive off and have been NC for 4 days now.

Thanks these words are calming after a second heartbreak from the same guy

My ex was perfect. I made a lot of mistakes, let my pain bleed onto him was critical and passive. He blindsided me saying he didn't see a future and was romantically detached and that we were toxic. 2 days before he said he loved me and we will be ok. Feel i lost the best thing i ever had. I'm broken. He was so good to me