Relationship Red Flags with Matthew Hussey | Season 2; Ep 1

It is so difficult to meet people these days. I have tried online dating and it is definitely not for me. I'm in my late 40's and have pretty much accepted that I may never meet my person. I choose to remain single... it's better than being in one unsatisfying relationship after another.... especially with a narcissist.

The honesty and vulnerability that you both displayed made me cry. Dr. Ramani, you saved so many lives. Mine included. My best friend watched every episode to help me get out and over a narcissistic relationship. My BFF, died last October. I hope she heard today’s episode. She was from Suriname. So, she was Hindustani. Believe me! She had enormous standards. You can have any man you want with you intelligence, beauty and selflessness. Matthew, I am learning so much from you on how to move forward. You both deserve all of the love in the world. Happy for you and Audrey! Dr Ramani, if I ever see you on a flight to Johannesburg or California, I’ll probably going to bow down in comply and utter gratitude. Mathew, you are too young for me. 🤪 But, you and Audrey will get the same love. Two amazing people! Very authentic and BRAVE!

To Narcissists their entire existence looks like an exhausting game. I feel like only time is the great teller of truth. Anyone who has attempted to "rope on me right out of the shoot", scares me. 😱 😅.

Beautiful conversation between two fantastic thinkers! I am 100% their follower

Love to you both beautiful humans 💛💚💙💜🙏

Wow. Dr. Ramani, your candor in this was phenomenal. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, it’s very reassuring. ❤

I would say 50% of potential employees referees I call say don't employ them.

The diagnosis is the younger, the worst it is. it's kind of like a schizophrenia where the narcissist is now younger & is worse case scenario. how can someone so young be so set in their ways of a narcissist..

It's also personal responsibility of casual sex. Relationship sex
Or in-between sex 1 night stand sex.
Women men need to know that our body is our only moral compass treasure it & only with that you can feel true dignity.

When ending up in a relationship where you have to verify facts, that's a little too much. You have to just go with your gut & if you choose to ignore those red flags one by one as flags passing you by, you have to have responsibility for your own choices in the actions you portrayed in this scenario. You're not the victim at fault. You also contributed to the outcome of ignoring your first red flag getting out of dodge.

apologies I keep commenting

, does Playing the field, or to the guys who do not have a vocabulary in marriage. but a sexual personality & character.

Seriously great podcast. Thank you!

I have modeled the kind of relationship I wanted from people in all types of relationships, personal and professional and have gotten no where.....All it did was build up a sense of entitlement in the other person where they expected me to be emotionally supportive of them and kind toward them but they dealt with me in a dismissive manner where they rarely ever asked how my day was and only did so if they had time to kill and could fit me into their schedule......Sometimes they dealt with me in an outright exploitative and dishonest manner....

A favorite podcast. Very different advice from what we usually hear and I love it because it just sounded so authentic... I especially love the idea of trying something new and seeing if you get a new response like a personal social experiment to see what works. Also I can so relate, due to my childhood, with Dr. Ramini. I've been listening to her for years now since coming out of a narcissistic relationship and had never heard her story of her background.

I think you’re missing the boat and focusing on the wrong issue.
And, I get to test this friend to see how he handles this. Will he agree or obfuscate.

To me, what you need to do is negotiate “terms of engagement”. Work out mutual acceptance of how “we” are going to engage with each other.
Once you get acceptance, then monitor how you are both doing.
For example negotiated with a friend that he would take me off the table and not discuss me with my husband who I was separated from. He agreed.
When my husband came to town my husband brainwashed him and turned him into a flying monkey with an agenda that the three of us had to meet.
So… now I know this guy is a weak character - is clueless about relationships - you can’t unilaterally change the terms on your own - you have to go back to the original person and make a case why you want to change the agreement and if the answer is no - the answer is no. The critical character quality of being loyal and keeping your word. So in effect - this process makes it super easy to monitor the relationship and tell right away if they move the goal posts!!!
This gives them a chance to be “we” and have equal input (50/50 equal vote) but going rogue - is a deal breaker.

“How a person shows up” is the reason I just ended my recent marriage. Are they easily angered? Will they ever consider that I have needs? Will they ever 😢care about the hurt they caused with their words? Why is it that all I see from him is minimal effort? Is there another man out there that wants the relationship as much as I do?

This is out of this world. I stumbled upon something with a similar message, and it was absolutely astonishing. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

just do a credit check. Don’t date anyone with a credit score under 750.😊

I admire and respect Matthew Hussey very much. He's a great male model and listening to him is always a way to learn a lot.

What dr Ramani shared broke my heart. I always think how beautiful she is, literally such a gorgeous jawline. I am sorry you’ve experienced that as you narrative. Jesus loves you beyond measure and offers hope, true significance and unconditional love. Thanks for all your work dr Ramani. Wish I could hug you and be your friend. ❤

Dr Ramani's been so very helpful to my process, HOWEVER Matthew comes from this place of humility and curiosity, and she keeps insisting on her trauma her limiting beliefs, even makes him depressed by the body language. Dr Ramani I think It'd be very helpful for you to check Joe Dispenza's work. IF you're addicted to your own story, how else can someone be helped? simply impossible. I wish all fulfillment to you ♥ Thanks Matthew for bringing your light and perspective to this community, which dangerously can be in love with their own pain.

"in dating we don't get references".. in the middle east here it's common to go meet the person's family, neighbours, friends and acquaintance to know how they're like treating people and such

Amazing conversation, thank you so much! I have to also say thank you so much for acknowledging that men experience a time-pressure as well for marriage and kids. I’m a woman who knows she doesn’t want kids, and constantly hearing it come one way many times (toward women) is hard. Anyways it was a breath of fresh air!

So many gems here, but I’d never heard the relationship with life before. Again, this was phenomenal, appreciate it ❤

Dr. Ramani, thank you for sharing such deep vulnerability on this episode. I truly hope that you continue to build on your self worth and learning how to have standards and boundaries bc you are truly such a beautiful beautiful woman. Not only are you physically gorgeous but you are brilliant, down to earth and a delight to listen to. Thank you for all you do!

Thank you for articulating what i can't.

I loved the content. Just felt that he kind of minimized a little how much an empty shell that a person is after years of a narcissistic relationship. My marriage is ending after 18 years and I honestly think I'll never be able to date and trust men again (because I totally know I'm wired only to toxic relationships and absolutely cannot trust myself). I'm 41yo, I love connection, touch, hugs and kisses, and the thought of being alone for the rest of my life is terrifying, but I don't see any other safe alternative. It's heart wrenching. I'm completely terrified of my future...

Mathew has the conscious views and Dr Ramani the sub-conscious

God he's so pretty. His heart and his mind are too, so it's easy to stay hooked on what he's saying. But his face really is lovely.

😍🙏❤️

A backtracker, caught in the act so changes.the story and the whole.mafia goes along with it. Communicates only digital technology,never in person. Addiction to feet

I love how Dr Ramani breaks things down and summarizes the conversation. It brings it all together.

I think both of these are really knowledgeable about these things. Excellent. Xxxx

❤

2 wonderful people

When hiring: I always talk with references. Also, if it's too good to be true - it's NOT! I also found this - beware of eccentric dressers. They often will NOT conform to working well within a team. Put people through actual skills-based experiences during an interview process - this will usually remove about 70% of the applicants from consideration. Talk is cheap - show us you can DO it. If you apply these ideas to dating then do the same thing. Talk to people who know the person. Beware of love bombing. Put them through the paces - don't make things easy for them. Take dates camping or on hard hikes. See how they handle difficulties. Then slow things down - way down. Oh, and always maintain your separate finances - do NOT become vulnerable to other people financially.

If they don't text for two weeks what should you do,

This episode 🙌🏼

I love Dr Ramani! And now Matthew Hussey great podcast so many great parts like Xmas can exist even when the wrapping paper stays on the floor 😂

I think my ex wanted a fan. When I tried to talk to him about slowing down the relationship he would get upset no matter how kindly I brought it up or how up front. And whenever I held him accountable for messing up or acting childish .. he couldn’t take it. Instead he wanted me to just deal with his inability to make good decisions, surround himself with bad friendships, make ridiculous economic decisions and then complain about everything to me…and when offered solutions he seemed to get annoyed by me or just dismiss me. Then why complain? And he wanted me to mirror his feelings back to him whenever he complimented me or told me he loved me or missed me.

LOL! Mathew is the biggest NARCISSIST himself! he hides it so well! professional actor! those who know him close, know how manipulative he is. Behind the "nice" mask is a Monster, who manipulates women and uses them to his advantage. He is a true hypocrite - he pretends to be the sweet guy, but underneath he is a Monster!

I'm confused! What are Matthew's credentials? He wrote a book about how to get a guy and now he is an expert on psychology? I don't get it.

This episode made me cry. Thank you Dr Ramani for sharing your story. Standards dammit.

Ow. In 6 mins i think u make a g8 statement

Thankyou both of you. ❤

why is Matthew talking 90% of the time?!

“You will find the right person faster if you say no to the wrong person quicker, but you could only say no to the wrong person quicker if you define wrong people.”

Hussey has exaggerated the amount of his experience in online descriptions of himself. That alone is a red flag. It would be great if people would do their due diligence before platforming people whose online information features conflicting data.

You absolutely CAN ask for references when you are dating someone!

Dr Ramani, thank you for being vulnerable with us. I could hear the pain and honesty in your voice. I am so sorry for what you and so many of us went through as children. You are beautiful and brilliant, but even if you were plain and ordinary, you would still be enough.