People Are SO Wrong About This Situation

Everyone was bombing on girl defined and it was brutal

It makes me think of that Demi lovato Song 25. Great song. Its gut wrenching as hell if you been through something like this, but it good.

I am SO TIRED of everyone referencing D'angelo Wallace's video when yours is so much more nuanced and has more insight into the REAL issues here.
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(Although, it's hard to find, maybe die to the title? I had watched this video, then tried to find it in my history and just couldn't.)

As a Canadian, yeah our age of consent is like 16 or whatever but the law also states that at that age it is still illegal for people over 18 to have sex with a 16 year old especially if they are in positions of power (which I think it could be argued that any adult is, especially your celebrity hero)

Girl defined is 10000% most mysogonystic channel mentioned

When I was 16 I had a crush on a man who was 20. I flirted relentlessly with him and in the end we started dating. In retrospect, he took full advantage of a crush a silly girl had. When I was 20, 16 year olds looked like babies, I looked like a child back then. I was taken advantage of and even though I was rebellious at that age, we cannot decide not to believe a victim just because they are unlikable.

I think one of the worst parts about all these comments complaining about why didn't Tana talk about this situation sooner or address it in more detail, is that they all recognize that what happened to Tana as a crime, but then turn around and blame the victim instead of the actual criminal. It's condemning Tana's silence instead of Cody's actions.

It's pronounced Mojo ❤

Someone in D'Angelo's comments posted the following quote, so I felt I should post it here because it sums up this situation perfectly.

"Notice these men preying on girls aren't befriending 16 year old boys as their peers? It's almost like they actually understand 16 year olds are children." - Jess Pected

The “logic” of why this is wrong is so incoherent. If an imbalance of power in sex = rape, then does that apply to physical power? Because in that case almost all sex is rape be because men are physically stronger than women.

This was the first video I saw on this.

The willful ignorance of people saying “why is she bringing this up now?” As if Tana didn’t explain she’s expanding on this after having made passing comments about the situation and was now being pressed to explain.

anyone, especially a man whose sense of humour is almost exclusively innuendos and sex jokes in my experience has been fucked up

The fact that he chooses a young girl who is vulnerable to exploitation makes the situation even more disgusting.

Ugh, clickbait. Boring.

It's actually crazy to think that most women have been through this as well.

My mom recently told me that when she was 19 she dated a 30 year old & she said it was fine and normal after I had brought up weird age gaps.. and I was like.. but he was still THIRTY!!! I'm glad she doesn't have trauma from the relationship but that MAN had no business dating a 19 year old!!

Tana was born June 24 1998. Cody November 22 1990. If he was 25, she must've been at least 17.5 years old. Do the few months make a difference to being 18 years of age? How do people say she cannot give consent, but a few months later when she turned 18, she could've given consent?? This makes no sense. Everyone is acting as if she were 7 instead of almost 18. That's two very different pairs of shoes. Were she 16 or just turned 17, I would understand the rage. But we are talking of less than 6 months, people. There is nothing predatory if 18 would've been ok in yall's books.

The thing is Tana has talked about it before but no one cared

great video as always

Gee, in a country where a major political candidate is known for bragging about SA of women, and was found guilty of SA behavior equal to r*pe, who is surprised that a popular YT channel is not being held accountable for his sleazy behavior at the age of 25?

Thank you so much for addressing this situation, Rachel! I agree with everything you said entirely. The negative and dismissive comments about Tana are so disgusting. Anyone can be a victim, regardless of how likeable they are, what they’ve done in their past, or how much of a “good” person they are. I greatly appreciate that you drew attention to the fact that it is so disturbing that sex crimes and rape culture are so pervasive to this day, especially within the entertainment industry. I feel like Tana was also trying to call out the structural allowance for sexual violence, grooming, and predatory behaviour. Seeing so many people jumping to protect Cody is incredibly disheartening. I’m 25, and I would never ever even consider being involved with a 17 year old.

It\s not about believeing people with no proof or basis it\s about making sure to go into something with an objective mindset looking at the data and learning what\s true through there.
We literally can't believe everyone who makes accusations. Anyone could go out and say you did something terrible to them without it being true. You have to go by innocent until proven guilty. America has a concerningly high rate of falsely accused people going to prison and only being let out after a certain amount of years were stolen from them or enough damage was done that they didn't have much left to live by. It's serious. I'm sorry but going around calling reasonable doubt "men being meanies in the comments" is a bit infantile.

Are we sure the age of consent is 16 in the uk but only if it's with another teen? Not really relevant to anything but I was under the impression it was straight up just 16 over there

the question of “why does she speak about it now?” i think people are also forgetting that she’s now about the age that he was when this happened. there’s a whole new context and perspective to it then that she can grasp or probably thinks about that simply wasn’t there just a year or two prior. even understanding that it was wrong changes when you reach the same age as the person who hurt you at that age. i might be projecting but like it makes a lot of sense to me personally why she’d talk or think about this more now than before.

I don't mean this to discredit victims or anything but I mean this genuinely that I just don't know how to respond to someone coming out with accusations. I recall times in the past where people have been accused of SA and I believed it and completely changed the way I saw someone to then have the accuser confess it was fake. SA and wrongful conviction both ruin people's lives. I want to believe people when they have had something terrible happen to them, but... I dunno, how can I take sides on a he-said-she-said situation where one of them is a total POS and I don't know which? Other than comforting the accuser, because that harms no one. What is the correct approach to these situations? What if there is no evidence on either side?

Im not gonna defend cody ko, because i believe hes a pos. But to clarify to people here:

Tana not being immediately believed in isnt misogynistic. She has a history of lying and doing alwful shit herself, so its not a surprise people took what she said with a grain of salt. Even tho its true.

There have been many cases of people getting falsely accused. So you cant pretend like it doesnt happen and that the person has nothing to gain. Because they absolutely have smth to gain in destroying someone's life


Im just saying this vecause while in this situation, the crime did happen, it shouldnt serve as a way to further the idea of "believe all victims" and that women never did anything wrong

I think when we have trauma. And are young and confused and forced into adulthood, and a teen. When we look around and see that at 17, here I am. I’m doing the damn thing! I’m doing XYZ that so and so isn’t and all the people my age aren’t doing it yet! I’m mature. I’m having experiences! I’m old enough to make these even bigger choices!
We aren’t. We weren’t. We were exposed and thrown into adulthood by immature adult parents and guardians. They’re failings made them appear “younger” in comparison to our tough accomplishments. Made it easier to surpass them and get away. Making ourselves appear older than those around us.
That’s just the trauma within our brains protecting us.
The reality when you take out any outside factors. Is that 17-25 is utterly disgusting and predatory in so many ways.
But. That’s just my brain rambling.

“In the videos with them together he seems immature and she seems like she’s in control” um. What. In those videos he seems like a young adult acting a little awkward because he doesn’t know how to relate to a teenager, and she seems like a teenage girl trying to act cool and mature.

I can tell how hard this video was to make; thank you for sharing ❤

Why do people ask “what if the minor lied about her age” and never “why is the adult attracted someone who is so much younger than them?”

So you could’ve looked up how to say her name, but you made fun of it instead? Cool. 🤦‍♀️

these comments abt "oh its fine if theyre 18" are so insane- im only 23, i wouldnt even consider dating someone under 21 ?? and even 21 feels kinda icky cus my younger sibling in 21 and in my brain he is still an infant lol. like, i have friends who are 18/19 and while ofc i love them and respect them, even just at 23 we are at totally different stage of our lives and maturity. just like im sure a 30 year old is a lot different than me, and i would be weirded out by my friends around 23 dating a 30yo.

edit: got to the end and wanna add something- when me and my ex were at a convention in 2020 (before pandemic, in feb or march? we were 18 almost 19) we had gotten drunk under age and were hanging out on the con floor at night around 2-3am and this military fur along with two pther guys spent the whole night hitting on us. one of these guys convinced us to come up to our room and sleep with us, which we were frankly very confused about at the time. both of us are ftm and had never consensually had sex with a cis man and in retrospect he absolutely realized what he was dong (he was sober and around 30ish) because HE started crying and left. we were so drunk i was still too drunk to drive again hotel checkout at 11am. he had the audacity to text us the next day and ask if we wanted to hook up again. we both blocked him obviously bc we had been physically injured w/o giving more detail, and had realized how fucked up it was.

the end of this prompted me to go loom at pictures of myself at 18/19 and i cant even say i really looked like a teenager. i looked like a child-child. im trans so i looked younger in general but i was also severely anorexic in 2020. i dont think i looked older than 15.

it just makes it that much more disgusting that it wasnt even just that one guy, there were two other people kinda swarming us and hitting on us up until we went to the room with the one.

i know not all cis men are horrible but that definitely does not make me any more comfortable being alone with them

get better at talking and saying words. It's not even 2 minutes in and you can't seem to say anything

The people who are dismissing her because she "waited so long" to expose the allegations are the same people who STILL would've dismissed her if she had come forward THE NIGHT OF THE INCIDENT. Women who share the crime while they're still traumatized are demonized, women who allow themselves to heal before sharing the crime are demonized - all that and these people will ALSO CLAIM she's doing this for ATTENTION. NO ONE WANTS THIS KIND OF ATTENTION.

In a lot of countries the legal age is 16. But this specific situation is a non-issue.
Now, her using it to her advantage by making it into a situation is a whole other thing.

You’re the first one I saw talk about this even before D’Angelo cover it. Thank you for not being afraid to say your truth!! I appreciate your content

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The fact that man has a child is even more concerning. If he cannot be trusted around children or women, he should not be married or a father

Great video ✊

This was a very good video, thank you for talking about it. Its baffling for me to see that people don't understand that an adult who is a child's idol isn't automatically considered to have a psychological advantage and power over the younger person. It would have been equally inappropriate if Cody was 17 and Tana 25-26 at the time they were flirting and ended up sleeping together.

Thank you

as you’re explaining it it’s very interesting that women literally have to victimizes themselves in order for the behaviors of men to be viewed as wrong and harmful. women have to feel pain or hurt or done wrong in order for people to question a man’s behaviors even their pattern of behavior. it’s a struggle to just say that’s fucked up and he shouldn’t be doing that regardless of how the other person feels on the receiving end….ya know ?

Sure, 17-year-olds can know right from wrong, but MAN, was I stupid at 17. 17 seems so insanely young to me. I was a BABY.

What I hate is that the lust of men is being prioritized over the protection of women and young girls. How can we live in a society with men if they can't control their urges? Women should just cover every inch of themselves and be separated from men? Men can choose not to sleep with young girls. I've seen it myself. Making excuses for them is disgusting.

I've known a couple who got in a relationship when the man was 25 and the girl 17. She could be seen as more 'mature' (very intelligence, went to university at 17). I was 23 at the time. My relationship was closer to the man (sort of friends) and knew he had anger issues he was genuinely working on. But, I still had a talk with the girl. Pointing out the problematic age difference and saying that while we weren't close, if anything happend in the relationship that she wasn't comfortable with, I would 100% be by her side and support her in anyway I could. Also had a talk with the man about the age difference and that it did not sit right with me. As a bystander I can't force people not to be together and their relationship went on for 3 years before the girl broke up with him. I feel like as a friend I did what I could at the time, but watching video's like this once again show me how problematic it was.