Session 2 | Katie | In Therapy with Alex Howard

These are her parts talking to her. In order to help her emotions and thoughts, she would need to build a relationship with her parts. So i think the work is on self worth and working towards curiosity and compassion etc for her parts (even the critical ones) rather than trying to get rid of them. All the best to her, very brave to open up!

I can feel your pain so much . I'm so sure you are a great mom

Me too Katie 😢

Katie, I wonder 💭 if you haven’t suppressed your artistic 🎊 🎉 talents all these years, what do you think?

I want to get back into watching on TV

Thank you

You r an intelligent and clever lady your talents to do with journalism i would love to have that talent hope you can start feeling good very soon God bless ❤

Are we going to talk about menopause?

I’m NHS Keyworker (dyslexic) Evicted to Lock up Garage on Lockdown day @ 11am 24.03.2020 by 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿North Ayrshire Council…As I was Dealing with an Emergency ‼️ at NHS … 3 years on NO CHARGES NO HELP ….💀

This lady seems absolutely broken. I’d love to give her a hug 😔

Katie's story is so similar to mine in the sense of the patterns of thinking ...thanks for sharing this

I hope you are doing better.

This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling and have come to the moment of being ready to start therapy to unpack it all and reset myself. I am grateful to be blessed with enough insight and awareness to seek help after having done some reflection regarding what I need to investigate. 💖🙏🏻

I relate to this lady so so so much. Except my kids are still mostly younger and need me. I dont know my purpode im not even a good mom, i hate myself more then my family ever could have and did hate me, my innter talk is horrible 24 hrs a day. I have NO vlue who o am, what makes me happy, i cant even feel feelings ,only emotion i feel is anger. Dont remember ever feeling genuinely in the moment and happy. I am numb and dead inside

Cannot believe these 'sessions' are only 30 minutes (unless this is heavily edited?) That's not long enough for an effective exchange; she's only just got settled and she's out the door with 'homework'. What are this guy's credentials? She appears to have a great deal of untreated trauma. She doesn't need to 'calm down'.

Also, her dog died. Remember? This is a pretty major life event.

As a fellow scapegoat I can really relate to what you are saying. The people I loved with all my heart, the ones who were supposed to have my back bullied me and created a template for how I would see myself. You are innocent and the voices of hate are liars. I've tried every known method of therapy on the planet and have come to the conclusion that by building my new identity through the love and guidance of Jesus will fill the void but the most important thing is he will keep me humble. Lots of my friends have taken the path of self love and now believe they are little God's- and that doesnt sit right.

Whatever happens i hope you come to realise that you are not a bad person - everything you believe about yourself is the polar opposite of reality. Sending love and inner strength xx

I feel like Katie at 44, minus any achievements in career or parenthood.

Katie … thankyou so much for being brave enough to share this with us … its helping me personally so much in the sense that I know I’m not alone in my struggles and I can relate so much to the pain you have felt 😢sending you love ❤

To me this therapist talks far too much. When Katie became emotional, certainly in the first session, he missed the moment of allowing her the space to truly feel what was coming up. He talked!

In fact this type of approach on his part as ‘the therapist,’ puts her straight back into her past where the issue of not being heard, supported or valued, created the emotions that arose down the years.

Liz Barker

Covert narcissists?..

Menopause sux

Kate, you are being so strong to face your pain. I am just like you, and I drink to try and escape the loneliness, the needing to be loved, and the scared feelings all the time. But of course, this does not help, but what can I do when I have no human to share my feelings with? Because I got rid of my car, as I was unable to go out in it due to my sever anxiety, I am now living somewhere I love (apart from the dominant neighbour) but unable to get out, even if I could, as I can not be a passenger, I have to be the driver?! Trouble is, I can not really afford to pay for help, as I am now on a pension. I just do not know of a way to break through these feelings I have. xxx

I had psychotherapy for many years, was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder, therapy was so enlightening and it was an anchor in the storm that raged around me. If I need help again I wouldn’t hesitate to step into it again, it was invaluable & the best money I’ve ever spent. I wish I could have it once a week for the rest of my life. I don’t have a partner or family to share with or be heard deeply by like a therapist hears me. I’ve reached out gif trauma specific therapy on the NHS and I’ve been offered 4 sessions of anger management and a relaxation session which is good but I suspect I’ll be back to private therapy if that’s all that’s available.

It feels like people expect mental health issues are different from hard core physical health issues. The heart problem can only be repaired to some extent but the mental health issue has a higher expectation being a simple issue to resolve and most are more likely to judge you as a plainly difficult person/troblemaker or just not worth the effort

Somebody once said to me..."What's wrong with being ordinary?" So liberating.

I'm feeling for this woman but wonder how her choices in her first early stages of pregnancy affected those around her. Going off to work for the BBC and taking a flat apart from her husband through every week....well, I'd be saddened if my own son had to deal with that .

I’d like to know how an ADHD or ADD disorder would play into this.

Thank you Katie for being so volnurable. Is feels so good to know that you had the exsact same thoughts about yourself as I have. I just feel like such a failiour and unloveable. I too haven' t exsperienced yet what it would feel like to be unconditionaly loved by another human being😭😥🙏❤️

Thank you so much for this case study. I have learned so much from it so far ❤

Gosh she is so like me .

this is helping me so much. thanyou

I love the way Alex is so straight forward and speaks with such clarity ..when people are overwhelmed it has to simple and structured for anything to sink in ...I know I have been there like many out their watching the ,probably comparing our experiences we have has with other therapists .

Well done Katie on your courage to appear on this programme. You have suffered the loss of your dog ie friend, marriage which is massive and empty nest syndrome which also is dreadful. When our children leave our home we are left redundant as it were. The feeling of nobody needs me is overwhelming but the GOOD NEWS is those feelings eventually evaporates and are replaced by confidence and oodles of hope. Hang in there and look forward to a bright life ahead pg 🙏🏾

I’m completely and emotionally with you

I felt for you when you were saying how you feel about being misunderstood and feeling not good enough for yr family. I’ve been through exactly the same. I see the comments are dating 2 years back, so I hope you are now in a better placex

Perhaps if she nurtured her marriage, she wouldn’t feel so empty. She talked about nurturing her children but nurturing for her husband and marriage wasn’t mentioned. Sad.

This is like watching my counselling session….. it’s so sad how much childhood trauma impacts on the rest of our lives.

Has anyone considered that Katie is in full peri/menopause and has completely depleted levels of hormones, hitting at the same time as her kids leaving home. Not downplaying her trauma, just wondering about the addition of hormone support to help her be in a better place to process this stuff - HRT can be a complete game-changer for women 45Yrs+. Much love to Katie on her journey x

Thank you for these brave explorations; you are helping many people.

I never hated myself As much as I did in the middle of major depression. It will really make you just want to destroy yourself.

i am only half way through, watched the first session before that. this resonates with me so much. like the things Katie says word for word is exactly how i say it to myself in my own head. i am 35, no kids(child free). had depression and was treated but the anxiety and ovethinking is still there. i do have a fear of goig back to that state of hopelesness and pain. but i work on myself eveyryday and monitor my well being, do things that bring only joy, avoid triggers but at the same time bit by bit trying to face those triggers. one step at a time. What helps is being conscious, knowing that life is something i create, thoughts create my reality. But to have these positive thoughts, one should get rid of depression first. What helped me was medication.

ps- if i'd live somewhere nearby, i would love to meet Katie, give her a hug and check on her. She seems like such a lovely woman. Honstly i also see myself in her, the struggles, the pain. Just sending you lots of love and positive energy Katie!

You sound like I feel - I’m restarting therapy on Tuesday and I’m 52! I often feel like I’m too old to change the way I’ve managed my life for the past 40 odd years with a vey toxic mother. 🤞🏽it works out for both of us - it’s hard work but I’ve got to give it a go as my only daughter, who I raised as single mum is pregnant and I need to learn better ways to communicate with her. I don’t ever want our relationship to be like mine was with my mother - EVER😢.👋🏽👋🏽Nicole in 🇦🇺

I feel like I'm hearing myself in her. This is so helpful to me. I've become physically sick from my anxiety and depression. I LOATH myself and my harsh inner critic sounds like my parents, sister, ex-husband, and now my kids.

I’ve watched in shear astonishment how ME this is … I’ve watched the 1st video and the second and her Pain chest pain heart pain emotional pain and loneliness is ME . THE LACK of trust , the lack of support where we’d hope to receive it and never did ! I’m about to watch no 3 now . Thank you for this THANK YOU 🙏

❤

Listening caused me to know this

I know some don’t feel or want to feel

Her tears are such a gift

She’s way ahead of many

Even though hurting, at least she is feeling

That’s the beginning of healing not only self but the world

Way to go Katie

I can’t say for sure but if I may
I believe some of your family chooses not to feel so that’s even more on your shoulders

You’re carrying their burdens (because they haven’t arrived to that awareness…self discovery through not around)

I hear you and feel you. I always wondered if it was hormones. Then I was worse in empty nesters, divorcing, moving house and cant focus and desperate to know who I was and my purpose. At the moment im thinking ADHD, my therapist thinks maybe BPD but im not convinced.
Oh and the want to run away, although we can't run away from ourselves 😢

Excellent!

As a therapist who struggled through her own bit of complex trauma, this is so resonating and i can see in the comments that its resonating to many of us. Thank you for this connection of shared humanity. ❤ At the core when we dont get seen heard and valued growing up, we grow up thinking we are flawed, ineffective, unlovable or a defective human being.existential Anxiety actually is the shame of being, shame of not being enough, not being able to do enough ever that we carry with us all the time. The critical voice in us that says to us that we are never good enough doesnt ever stop.
Thank you for this. Learning so much from the therapist
❤