[Vinesauce] Joel - The Worst Of NES Games ( Part 1 )

Ghosts N Goblins is the first nes kusoge. So crap compared to the arcade og.

fuck yea i love joel sucking at the games that suck ass B) ya love to see it haha

I hope this pack includes Mindseeker for part 2. Its a game about honing your latent psychic powers. And I don't mean honing the psychic powers of a fictional playable character. I mean honing YOUR psychic powers, as in the developers expect you to be psychic to finish the game. The game is a series of trials where the only thing that determines whether you win or lose is RNG. I'm dead serious. And the trials don't have reasonable odds like 1/2 or 1/3; they're completely rigged against you.

The game's "final exam" requires you to open a series of metal doors with psychokinesis. To open a door, you need to hit a 1/2 chance 24 out of 40 times, so you have a 13.4% chance of opening each door. The exam sequence has you open a metal door, make a 1/5 selection about where to go next, and then open another metal door. If you mess up a single time, you have to restart from the first step. All together, you have a 0.35% chance of success. Each attempt at this trial takes about a minute, so after about 3 hours of attempts your odds of having cleared it are only about 50%. Unreal game design. But don't worry. If you prefer tedious grind with tangible progress, Mindseeker has you covered. If you grind up 650,000 exp (which takes significantly longer than just raw dogging the final exam), you can open doors with only 20 out of 40 coin flips, so the final odds go from 0.35% to a still terrible 6.33%.

Unlike Takeshi no Chousenjou which is clearly taking the piss on video games, Mindseeker is completely, unapologetically earnest. The game's manual insists that everyone has latent psychic powers they can unlock if they attune to a special state of consciousness, and that the game is designed to help you unleash these powers. The game's """story""" (the RNG trials have a shitty point and click adventure game attached to them) is about a pupil who goes to a special academy to train their psychic powers under the tutelage of one Masuaki Kiyota. Kiyota is a famous Japanese psychic from the 70s known for bending spoons. He confessed to faking his powers 5 years before the game came out, so I'm not quite sure how he got a game made about him. Unlike most kusoge on the Famicom, Mindseeker was not made by a shitty ghost developer like Tose or Micronics. It was developed and published by Namco.

On a somewhat related note, there's actually a whole bunch of psychic scam games on the Famicom. They're all pretty much the same. Imagine a horoscope, but instead of being a free bonus in a newspaper, it was a $50 to $100 Famicom cartridge. Taboo: The Sixth Sense is probably the most famous of these since it came out in North America (which is quite miraculous considering it contains nudity and a bunch of religious iconography), but my personal favorite has to be '89 Dennou Kyuusei Uranai. The game has a match making feature for testing romantic compatibility between two individuals based on their birthday. If you try to match a man with a man or a women with a women, rather than give you a compatibility score, the game shows you some rather homoerrotic art of a man kissing a man or a women kissing a women. Kind of progressive for 1989, I guess???

I'm so disappointed I went off to sleep JUST WHEN he started playing Hokuto no Ken

You need to press A+B AT JUST THE RIGHT PIXEL when Lin or Bat appear to progress to the next room, it's nuts.

Also, killing people can give you powers ups that boost your speed, jump height, punches and kicks, and rips your shirt when you collect seven of them

"Denmark gone but that's a good thing" Based Joel från Sverige

I hope Kaoru has attained his goal by now.

I really like the way Joel does livestreams, he had to end the livestream early cuz he wasn't doing all too good, so he continued later on the next day and he bundled the 2 segments into 1. Really like that

Just use the keyboard silly 😊

So sad I missed this one live

I kinda hate how fighting game boomers co-opted the term kusoge. This is the REAL Hokuto no Ken kusoge, not that fighting game with good pixel and infinite juggles (yet still better than Tekken 8 Season 2).

Next on my TED Talk, I'd like to talk about the irreparable damage to the term roguelike.

Yeah joel, a law that in brazil never existed. Do you enjoy talking shit about our country? Because there's a lot of dirt on sweden too.

That Superman game was actually a prototype made by Sunsoft (the same guys who did the Batman game) that never got released because they couldn't get the rights.

They tried renaming it to Sunman, but at that point, the NES was outclassed by the SNES and Genesis.

Well they technically are Crystal Balls because Toriyama got the concept from Hakkenden.

He's gonna take you back to the past...

Joel: I don't play these games as a one-off, I play to beat them.
Me: Is this a secret Hardcore Friday stream?

Dragon's Lair is basically the first I Want to Be-type game.

EDF is absolutely kusoge. They're popular now but they've never really been good games. Most of its initial popularity was irony.

Joel is Nils Norberg

Pretty sure the guy petting dogs and saying "Good boy" is a thing that is not in this game, but in it's sort of... knockoff version, I guess? Anyways, there's a game called "Street Hassle" for C64 and I think for some other 8 bit computers, and that game indeed has the guy petting dogs like you've seen, even AVGN played it specifically on C64

Duke's trip move uses both hands, and can pet dogs with it (He even says "Good boy!"). However, using it on other enemies may give you a different idea...

I think the main reason the high score table for bad street brawler had he-man in there is because the game was made by mattel. Who owns masters of the universe.

Joel introduced to SNOWFLAME

The funny thing is that the chat member saying that the attacks you do in Dragon's Lair actually drains your health (albeit slowly) but with Joel's skill level in that game it doesn't matter at all.

THESE GAMES ARE LUIGI ASS

While not the original NES, my first console was a handheld which runs on special NES clone hardware with enhanced graphics and sound and came pre-loaded with mostly original games but also a few romhacks of actual Famicom games.

Requiem is such a Joel comic I knew it would be that one as soon as he said it was French lol

I loved super monkey daiboken growing up no joke and shenlong nozo and hokuto no ken

No hokuto no Ken for switch y.y

Yeah, like Joel said, I believe Dragon's Lair NES is that hard because it was their way of reinterpreting the original game as a side scroller. Like the original, more often than not, one mistake and you're dead, so you're supposed to memorize what's ahead.