Triple Goddess Updated? - Stages for a child free witch

I'm glad you found someone. The decision to be child free made it seemingly impossible for me to have a relationship, though not for a lack of trying. I'm 37 now and have pretty much given up on the idea. I've been transitioning into crazy cat guy for a couple years now and it's actually not as bad as it sounds. Plus, I'll probably get to be eaten by cats someday, BONUS!

I really like your takes on a more inclusive and modern approach! As a skeptical atheist witch too, I really get a lot out of the metaphorical associations in witchcraft. I’ve also been playing with the symbolism behind the Triple Goddess. I tend to get more out of being very intuitive with the meanings instead of picking specific language. It more easily represents the waxing and waning of different persons I feel like I’ve been in life, as I don’t ever feel the same when looking back at my younger selves. Just as the lunar cycle is not one single passage of light over the moon, my self continues to shift and change. Only in the darkness of the new moon, where I am distanced from what was once influencing me can I meditate on who I’ve been and who I could be with the next waxing stage.

Always nice to hear from you. The triple goddess metaphor never really connected with me, in part because I don't mother but also because my gender isn't uncomplicated. I like your update though, especially queen. I think being queen of your life can be a powerful metaphor.

The book Jailbreaking the Goddess by Lasara Firefox Allen is great and about this exact thing!! She redesigns the triple goddess to be five fold and encompass so much more. I absolutely recommend it.

Thank you. This video is exactly what I needed to hear right now. This is the way. ❤️

I’m loving to your content.

You are so lovely, humble and calming to listen to. I also had a long maiden phase and don't want any children. I resonated with this updated version of the triple goddess:)

I enjoyed this video. I may have to make my own version as well as I am 27 and do not have any children of my own. I have always wanted children but I have not yet been gifted with them. I am however very motherly or sisterly and mentor like to youth and others. My friends and coworkers all call me their mom friend/coworker. I’ve spent most of my life and jobs taking care of children and or elders so I have a very motherly spirit but no physical children yet. I struggle with this often but maybe creating my own version of the triple goddess will help me cope more. Thank you!

I totally identify with everything you say in this video! I'm at a similar place in my life, and I also don't identify as a "mother." Great video! Thanks!

Wait... You are confusing me with saying you're not a maiden. If you want to be the maiden you rock it girl! :) I'm glad though you are seeking to find a version of this that matches your life.

I love all your videos! thank you.

I had the idea of youth, teacher, elder? Gender neutral and doesn't involve parenthood.

I am a mother and definitely in my middle years, and I have always felt the triple goddess elements to be very metaphorical and mostly relatable to my situation...
HOWEVER your descriptions are really really valuable in helping me understand those metaphors better and more fully. I am in my forties and still trying to feel I'm getting my s**t together! I LOVE the alternative name 'creator;' it feels somehow more helpful, not least because it is a time in your life when you really are creating yourself, using all the things you have learned as a maiden to come into your most powerful, efficient, effective self. I still don't feel I'm there, but I am not the same person I was ten or fifteen years ago.

Also, I definitely want to be the kind of elder you talk about - colourful hair, mad tattoos, travelling around in a camper van or some such! 💚

The focus on motherhood really put me off of traditional pagan beliefs l, Wicca especially. I just don't want to be a mum and there didn't seem much of a place for me without motherhood being involved.

I feel like 'mother' could also be about mothering yourself - like this is the age where you kind of take that responsibility over from your parents. I also like the idea of creator though or world builder as I feel like the middle of our lives is when we have the most influence and power over the world around us. As youths it feels like the world belongs to the older generation and I can image that once we are an elder we may feel that the world belongs to the younger generation. Perhaps the middle part of our life is when the world feels most like our world.

I really like venomouskitten's adaptation from reddit: the Seeker, the Maker, the Sage

LOVE this idea!

As a woman of crone years...hearing "death and decay *giggle*" was a bit harsh! Funny as shit, but harsh!

I totally relate as a childfree person. I've had the same thoughts.

What ages correspond with these stages?

Great video. This model has been so problematic for so many people.

I interpret this slightly differently based on Feri witchcraft, which actually has seven archetypes (the threefold Goddess, the threefold God and the transcendent God Herself) but because six of those archetypes are gendered, I'll focus on neutral terms for how I understand it using four terms borrowed from Feri and then a few more:

- Youth or Child (Maiden/Youth; often a Trickster): Freedom, curiosity, intuition, energetic

- Parent (Mother/Father, or King/Queen/Regal): Teacher, protector, nurturer (of growth), creator

- Elder (Crone/Witch/Sage/Wizard/Warlock): Poet/bard, giver, seer, dreams and sleep

- World (Ultimate Reality, Cosmos, God His/Her/Them/Itself): Abstract, encompassing, (source of) magic itself, mind and matter

- Death (or Psychopomp): Time, (life) cycles, rebirth, ancestry and heritage

- Lover or Desired (this is sometimes Maiden/Youth and sometimes Mother/Father depending on the tradition): Privacy, bonds, sensuality, relationships

- Warrior (or Hero): selflessness, power, leadership, persistence

There are probably a few other kind of archetypes I could easily consider but the typical Triple Goddess model is somewhat restrictive. All the lovers are either young newlyweds or expecting parents, the warriors are scattered across archetypes and the death deities are lumped under what I termed as the "elder" archetype. The reality is much more complex.

This is one reason I looked at Wicca and decided it wasn't for me...as a child free 51 year old I've joked for years that I was on the maiden to crone pipeline lol

I personally like the Maiden, Matron, Matriarch model that the Asari from Mass Effect use. They are a female-presenting, mono-gendered race of aliens that label their life stages in this manner. I think Matron is a better word than Mother because "matron" can also refer to an older woman who's gained maturity, power, identity, etc. but who doesn't necessarily look after children.

I really relate to this. I'm learning to embrace approaching crone rather than fearing it. And I'm also solidly in the middle of my maturity, but mother doesn't fit since I don't want kids. For me the part that matters is that I want to help mentor people and help people as an activist and educator. Also, I appreciate you moving away from biological essentialism as I'm also transgender. I love the Triple Goddess symbol and I wear it often on various accessories. Yet I'm also an atheist too!

Thank you so much for this. The very gender-essentialist, super binary aspect is one of the big reasons I ended up abandoning Wicca. As someone who is circling back on witchy-ness from a deeply agnostic perspective, and who long ago decided to be childless, I have been trying to resolve my newly re-minted witchy identity, and the triple goddess imagery has been tough to get my head around.

I appreciate you discussing metaphors like the Triple Goddess like this because I've had similar discomfort or frustration with the "motherhood = ultimate womanhood" idea as another woman who does not want to have children of her own (but still cares about them being safe and loved!). Womanhood/femininity have been concepts that I've had to come to my own terms on, so I liked hearing about your own archetypes that resonate with you. ♀♥