Containment - What a Woman Needs From a Man in a Relationship

So I have to be an abusive douchebag to get a woman?

I've heard all this before and I never considered myself a nice guy. Being a constant person, seeking his own fulfillment, I've been told I'm a really nice guy (without trying to be) and in other contexts treated like a jerk or selfish. In such cases I was absolutely not trying to act, either way. But I figured it out, i figured out something, what's going on.

High functioning autistic spectrum/Asperger's syndrome folk might have similar results in this dating and attraction arena to nice guys. It is the Asperger's stupid and I guess only a few percentage of the people have that and maybe a large percentage are nice guys. I am old fashioned. By my own internal self image I am old fashioned, but strong, a gentleman but one who can set boundaries and respects his own needs. I try to be a good man, like the classical guys Erroll Flynn or whoever. I never pretended anything-- well when I did, fair enough I can be hated. I can hate myself if I pretend.

I'm not obsessive, I don't think. I have special interests but I think they are valid and reasonable. I think I'm high end functioning but there are other things too maybe- phobia of real intimacy because I saw no affection in my family. Other things I won't get into but Autism may camouflage as nice guy syndrome and the videos on not being a nice guy don't help a ton. They seem interesting at first and then get old and boring and maybe one thing Autists have to understand is that perception is reality - and they don't understand perception very well. This is my take anyway. I'm still learning, but I don't understand how others perceive me.

In some ways I'm gaslighting myself.. I have to admit. I know the society is unreasonable but I like to model reason and steadfastness. I don't have a superiority complex. I'm just a man but I have never been swayed by confidence, popularity or rhetoric and I want to model that fact to others.. but it doesn't work out so well. Maybe I'm afraid to fail, so I don't fully play the game. Who knows. Or maybe I can't force myself to be so different than I am- but I should be mindful of perceptions, being as important as realities in the social spaces, and recognize what perceptions people hold. Here in Minnesota we are pretty wild and pretty normative. We have crazy norms and we enforce them, if you dare step out of line. People will assume you agree with them at least, unless you give some verbal sign you don't. In that way they're too trusting. We were the epicenter of the riots of 2021 or whenever that was, where billions of dollars of property was damaged as were largely minority owned small businesses. I should live elsewhere in this short life but that's my problem. It's good money here.

Do you think it's true? Is nice guy's syndrome conflated with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Asperger's and in such a misdiagnosis, is the medicine ineffective? Does the ASD crowd need a different kind of medicine than being told to not be too nice?

So... women are attracted to someone who will take all the responsibility and bear all of the burden? But they also want to be seen as equal while inequality is their #1 prerequisite? It sounds like (most) women are pretty shallow.

You know after doing all the „right things“ according to the society, I.e. be physically strong, emotionally stable, financially and professionally capable. Someone hows nice, helpful, caring, responsible for others. If then this is the best dating has to offer, then I believe I’ll pass. Humanity will be just fine 😂

woman also see nice guys as they are trying hide something .

Coach Teal, when I was growing up, my mother (who dated women occasionally throughout her golden years) said "that dating is often like being out in the sea, sometimes it sweeps you left crying that she left and sometimes you're not right when you know you're right." I took these words of advice and cherished them, kept them close to me throughout the years, but I've realized that this line might need a small modification, so here it is:

"Dating is often like showering out in the sea in the shower of the ship's most bottom compartment; sometimes the shower's ship (or the ship's shower, both technically correct) swings to the left making you bang your head right, confirming that she left you even when you were right, and sometimes the ship swings downwards, nodding its head in approval that you did the right thing by leaving that toxic relationship, as painful as it was to leave, and in essence allowing another person to take your place of pain for an undefined period of time, until they too buy a book on narcissism and realize sumting wong, must run."

Coach, do you think this honors my mother's original and wonderful quote about the challenges of dating, or do you think it's too modified? I believe it still carries the same general sentiment, although some might say it's a bit wordy.

No, they actually want to laugh, but then there are no men left hahahaha

Old Generation no more too bad

Batsch Batsch🤗

Military for everyone!!!

Grüße nach Bali oder Mali?

I would have been an asshole only I was brought up a bit nice ...but I still pulled many women 😂

Maybe we should all listen to miss perfect 😂

I'm an asshole, is a awesome song from Denis Leary 😂

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After being a nice guy for a very long time, I've learned to be an asshole, and it showed me that not only did i not need the approval of others, I don't need the approval of women either.

There's no right answer for a guy in the modern day except to make his own way and forget about what other people want. Trying to please most women or become what they want is a pointless and fruitless endeavor.

Thank you for explaining. Now it all makes sense. My rational mind keeps me away from some troubleshooter guys while the female in me calls for them desperately. Yes, it's exactly this raw maskulinity, which pulls me towards them. And sometimes there are even mature ones. But unfortunately very rare.
May female and male love and support each other ❤

What if you're NEITHER?

Energetically small? What do you mean by that?

I am all of the things you say a woman needs. I never broke it all down like your doing at all. I was married for 35 years and went steady with my wife for 2 years before we got married. One morning (we were 60 years old at that time), she just got up, got in her car and went and file for divorce. No fighting. No discussion at all. My wife is a VERY well read person on most all subjects and I actually seen her read the bible from page one to the end, 10 times in our 39 years together. We had a wonderful son who we both home schooled from K to Grad. When our son seen his Christian mom break the whole family up, he went from being the nicest guy you'd ever wanna meet, to an alcoholic. He is 38 years old now and just got out of a 6 month jail time. This divorce happened 10 years ago. My son ended up marrying a woman a lot like you. After she got two kids out of him, she left him and her 2 kids and never came back either. Did feminism win? Yes, for sure.

This is why the divorce rate is the way it is

Superb breakdown.

This still boils down to nice guys finishing last, if at all. He'll end up with some woman that the a holes no longer want or who finally gave up on a holes. IE, the a holes leftovers.

Not my wife she loves me as Im, and I love my 3 step children.

I love this video so much. This lady is so smart and she inspires me. For real. She is so awesome.

Birds of a feather

Women love mullets

Women today are brainwashed by media, especially social media. When I was dating 35 years ago, women were more attracted to average guys. I was a nice guy, a 5, not very masculine by her description, and I had little trouble getting dates. Dating was 10x easier. Women have changed for the worse.

Very true. A nice guy is termed 'weaklings'. Because they are attracted to toxic character

I once had a girl tell me that she was pursuing this particular guy bcuz she knew how toxic a person she was and this guy had been an addict, in and out of jail, sleeps around, just an all around asshole. But what she said to me was bcuz he is that way she knows her toxic traits can’t make him any worse. She said that she had hurt nicer guys in the past bcuz of her toxic qualities and she felt bad that she had hurt these nicer guys so she paid more attention to this particular bad boy asshole knowing that he’s already fucked up so there no way she could make him any worse or hurt him or mess him up like those other guys bcuz this guy is already a mess.

Wow, Teal nailed this. 💯

Don't let this shallow woman define masculinity.

No. Women do not like nice guys. They will avoid nice guys as weaklings. What women want are good guys. The guys that open the doors for her, watch over them without being obvious, provide a good environment for the family. But those men are the average man who works hard and is boring. So women ignore them and go looking for the tall, handsome, rich men they say they deserve. The women she is talking about are not looking for a husband. They are looking for financial support today.

Nice usually means weak.
I am not a 'nice guy' I am a 'good man'.
I will stand up for myself and others.
I dont push people but I dont get pushed.
That is the difference.

Your vids are very well thought out and presented. The concepts are based on reality and not ideology.

Hello all confused folks. Wealth is accumulated by taking other peoples money and hoarding it for yourself. Whether your a drug dealer or a business man that means you are not a altruistic bible loving human. It means you essentially use other people to gain wealth. And keep it for yourself. Which really is selfish and kind of sociopathic way of thinking. Most politicians business men women understand this and use the dumb masses for their benefit including this woman. Grifying a bunch of nonsense

I've attracted alot of women just being indifferent; basically I didn't care about them at all.

I’ll be alone for the rest of my days.

omg thank you!! i needed this!

It's true On my first date with my wife I stood her up I worked 20 hours the day before and was to tired . I tried to call her but had the wrong number . Two months later she called me from Germany and we wrote to each other .She was Vacationing in California when we were going to go out. She came back to Ca. and Moved in with me, 6 weeks later we were married . Thats 35 years ago. Nice Guys Finish Last.

Nice guys want free milk so they have be to nice. Some guys got free milk from woman who do not experience. Nice guy do not care about woman well beings.

Interesting. It sounds like you're saying females would like to be a pet with consciousness and will.

Date rappers & convicted felons in your best years.
Then expect a good guy to pick up the leftovers later.

In my experience 70% of women date assholes 25% date men who could easily be their dad or grandpa, and lastly 5% are lucky normal people same age range in a relationship

AWESOME VIDEO!!

"""positive ownership over a woman"". bro, you CANNOT OWN PEOPLE.

Teal wants the pure version of a protector so bad. I get it with her history but like.......... these "nice guys" ARE trying, man. That is their weakness (trying) but it also speaks volumes about their values. They do tend to idolise women too much tho. Citation: Freud

Traits attributes and characteristics are on a spectrum.
But being a nice kind guy has never gotten me anywhere with anyone. What if I don't want to be the asshole?

Strange as it seems I was a super sweet to women in my teens to twenties - after a divorce (32) I changed my attitude and became more demanding with a "macho" twist and found a much happier life.

Yeah yeah yeah. Lol.
A ticket to survival...
Survive on your own.

caring what women think in the first place is what got us to where we are today...anyone who cares what a woman thinks has already lost.